Thursday, November 14, 2013

I was a terrible person yesterday

I read this story on a friend's blog and it got me thinking, do I help people out of pity and moral obligation rather than love, too?
I was finished grocery shopping at Winco and in the process of loading my car when a man and his 9-year-old son approached me. He had to ask 3 times for money for the Frontrunner before I understood his question. Knowing the money was most likely not for the Frontrunner, I uncomfortably replied that I was unsure if I was carrying any cash but I would check. I gave him the ten I found in my wallet but added, “Here, next time just don’t take your son.” I said that. Can you believe I SAID THAT? Not only was I uncommonly rude, but I openly judged him. No disciple of Christ should ever act like I did.
 Sure I gave the man some money, but I gave it with pity and judgment rather than love. Why was I so uncomfortable anyway? Isn’t he a son of God too? Shouldn’t I be happy to help?  I should have given him money and then offered them a ride. I should have asked if they needed anything else I could give. I could have shown him Christian love and then shared the gospel. Instead I totally botched the whole situation, and turned my back on that man and I turned my back on God, who might have sent him to me for help.
 I’ve repented but, unfortunately, there are just some things I will always regret.

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  1. CaitlinNovember 25, 2013 at 7:59 AM

    So much to say about this!! I started writing a comment but it was so long and incoherent. New York is the worst and every single day at some point I feel like the priest from the story of The Good Samaratin who just passes by. But honestly truly if I stopped or gave to every person I saw each day there would be no end to it. I give when I can and try to do so without judgment. Because in the end, God will judge me for my works and judge them for theirs. So if they spend the money I give them for ill purposes, that's on them, but it is my responsibility to help those in need. I have had a lot of amazing experiences when I give to people.

    There is this man who I see on the train quite often and he is homeless. He asks for money in the rudest way possible. A while back CJ told me that one morning he saw this man on the train and he started SCREAMING at everyone on the train, calling them racist motherf-rs and making threats. I saw him on the train a few days later and I thought "He probably just needs someone to love him, maybe we could take him somewhere for dinner..." but I didn't do anything at that time. Then this past weekend we saw him on the train again, and he made a similar angry announcement. He was swearing and said "I will strangle you and throw you up against the motherf-in wall" to the entire train car. This may make me very unChristlike but there is no way I would ever invite someone like that to eat with me! Situations like this are really hard for me to reconcile.

    I will tell you one thing though the whole "everyone is a child of God" thing has never been more difficult for me to grasp than in New York. It's easy to believe that when you're at BYU and everyone is beautiful and nice (mostly) but this place is a whole other ball game. It really has been an incredible experience for me and I have had to open my mind to that concept a lot more.

    P.S. I currently write more in the comments section of your blog than I write on my own. So. Sorry.

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    1. Ling LingDecember 15, 2013 at 9:46 PM

      I'll be watching out for this if Carter and I go to New York this summer. I feel such a conflict about giving money to people, especially after I watched a new special about how most of the people on the streets aren't even homeless. One guy even said, "Most of us are out here because we want to be. The Church in Salt Lake has enough resources that if we wanted a job and an apartment we could get it." It's really hard to want to help that kind of attitude.

      I love all your feedback; you always have interesting things to say!

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