Him and Her: 5 Surprising Things About Being New Parents

To continue what we started in 2013 with Him and Her: 5 Surprising Things About Marriage, for our second anniversary we're sharing 5 most surprising things about our latest great adventure: Parenting.

Photo credit: Kent Davis, December 30th 2014

Her

1. Breastfeeding, like the rest of parenting, is 10X harder than you think it's going to be. I am honestly surprised the human race has perpetuated itself this long.


2. Possibly because I'm the least sentimental person I know, I didn't bond with Noah right away. At first everything is so surreal and it felt like I was caring for someone else's baby. For the first two months, I didn't even get the 'it's so hard but worth it' feeling. Even though I was happy to have him healthy and whole I was just stuck with the 'it's so hard' part. I mean, cognitively, I knew it was worth it (for celestial and old age purposes) but I didn't feel it emotionally. It's been a slow process that's still building.


3. I didn't know that almost every conversation I would have with Carter from the moment Noah was born would revolve around how Noah is sooooooo CUTE. And that I would like it. He's deliciously adorable. Also, I have a lot more conversations with strangers since Noah was born.


4. I'm totally one of those moms who watches video of my baby after he's gone to bed, even after I've spent all day with him. He's an addiction and I'm in denial.


5. Carter is a hilariously (and adorably) protective father. If the people sitting next to us in church cough, Carter is already whisking Noah away. He told me the night we brought Noah home from the hospital he remembers wishing he had driven a less bumpy road home. Watching Carter become a father has been a particularly sweet part of this adventure.

Him

1. Baby doesn't even freakin' know how to sleep!


2. Before we had Noah, I thought we would let the baby play on the floor by himself when he was awake and then put him in his crib to sleep when he was tired. I had no idea that we would have to rock him to sleep then hold him the entire time or that he would get bored when there aren't people around to entertain him.


3. Seriously, babies don't know how to sleep.


4. You can always hear when Noah poops.


5. I always say parenting is more work that I thought it would be and it's sweeter than I thought it would be.

Here's to one more year of marriage! And may the next one be a good one too. Happy Anniversary, Carter Kent Davis!

Baby Love

My little sister, Alexa, truly is a godsend to my money-poor, photography-loving self. She has a natural talent  that cannot be denied and that I will wake up at 5 a.m. to sneak into an orchard and take pictures. Bless her talented heart.

These were all taken on a nice DSLR camera and then edited on my phone because I'm swag like that. Or because Photoshop is now a subscription service that I can't/won't pay for. Can anyone recommend a good, intuitive editing app for Mac?

Body Image

a Las Vegas vacation

It's true that Carter always tells me I am the perfect size. I don't believe him. He tells me I don't need to lose any weight and I still don't believe him. At first, I thought he was lying to keep me happy. When he convinced me that, in fact, he really believes it, I thought, "How can he not see what I see?" Cognitively, I know overall health should be the goal rather than losing weight; I even strive for it by exercising and eating moderately. And yet, I don't really believe it.

I never thought I had body image issues until I married Carter. I thought I was normal. I mean, I wasn't extreme dieting or throwing up in bathroom. Ultimately, the problem is that I am normal. When I think about where this 'normal' mode of thinking came from, I think about the girl in high school who only drank water at lunch to lose a few pounds, the middle school acquaintance mentioning that she liked lying on her back because it flattens her stomach, or the college neighbor who said all her problems would go away if she were skinny. Of course none of those girls were overweight, in fact they all looked just like me. Cue internalization.

People like to blame body image issues on Photoshop and Barbie but I played with and stopped playing with Barbie long before I thought about what I looked like. For all I knew she looked just like me. I didn't even realize people could visually tell I was a different race until middle school. And I started feeling fat long before Photoshop and the Internet were a thing. I think the fact I have several explicit memories of girls I knew talking about their body speaks volumes as to how society really perpetuates body image issues. Reading this letter to a mother about body image helped me understand it even more.

And so I guess this is a call to all girls to change, if not the way we think about our bodies, then the way we talk about our bodies. If all mothers and sisters and friends talked about the things they liked about their bodies instead of the things they didn't like, we could change an entire generation. Of all the things I want to give my baby, a healthy body image is a definite priority.

poolside, Las Vegas

Life Update

We're pregnant! And by we, I mean me, although we've never really tried to get Carter pregnant. But that's another story for another day on Medical Mysteries. If truth be told, we weren't even trying in particular to get me pregnant but we are still so very happy about it! I'm even a little relieved. It's about time someone (God, the Fates, Karma, Carter's sperm, ect.) made some life-altering choices for me.

We'll be full-fledged parents around October 18th. I'm thirteen weeks along yesterday though I've only been growing this little human for about 11 or so weeks. Who knew that they date your baby from your last period? I guess that's when the follicle started maturing? #biologymajorproblems

In other news Carter is a smarty pants and scored an internship with the New York Federal Reserve this summer. So we'll be packing up and shipping out in June. I'm going to call it my doing-nothing-in-NYC vacation. I look forward to it as the last vacation where all I worry about is me. In the fall we'll return to Provo so I can push a baby out of my uterus and Carter can finish his last year at BYU. After that Carter has the option of returning to Manhattan to work for the New York Federal Reserve for two years or going to a graduate school.

Is it extremely lame of me that I don't want to live in New York, NY? I guess it all comes down to priorities and right now my priorities revolve around Caribbean vacations and home-ownership and backyards, all of which are not helped by living in New York on a pittance government salary. And if Carter takes the job and then goes to grad school we'll have an EIGHT-year-old by the time he actually graduates!

But if Carter goes straight to grad school in an affordable location, we might be able to buy a house/condo right now. And raise all our children in nice neighborhoods where they can walk themselves to school and play in playgrounds without rat infestations and enjoy water blobs in their own backyard. I mean. NYC is not the most kid-friendly.

The main argument for the NYC job is that Carter will have a regular 9-5 job and will be able to spend copious amount of time with our baby. So that's a plus.

So what would you do? Do you love NYC and think it's a great place for kids?

Him and Her: 5 Surprising Things About Marriage

In honor of our one-year anniversary, I thought we'd share some aspects of marriage that have been most surprising to us.

Her

1. Carter really doesn't understand that time of the month and I really can't explain it to him. He grew up with mostly brothers so I don't know how to tell him that, yes, I am furious over my lost sock and no, I'm not insane.
2. My parents and siblings repeatedly warned Carter about my just-woke-up self. To illustrate: I almost slapped my college roommate in the face when she was too zealous about waking me up. I wish that was an exaggeration. In a nice twist of fate, I'm usually extra-lovey to Carter in the mornings. Carter says I either wake up really happy or really mad.
3. I've always heard that money is the most contentious topic between spouses and now I really believe it. Not that we've ever argued about money; we usually agree on spending habits and yada yada. But MAN is it stressful.
4. We never run out of things to talk about! We totally should because we only spend 6 hours a day away from each other. Not that much happens in six hours! I guess we got married for a reason.
5. I totally don't believe that the first year of marriage is the hardest. This has been the best year of my life! And the transition to living together has been a breeze. 

Him

1. Whitney has the most vivid dreams. I guess I knew this when we were engaged because she would tell me about them, but it gets to a new level to wake up with her and have her tell me about all these crazy things. I mean, in her dreams really crazy things happen, like her being an assassin. I wake up in the morning and she has gone to a crazy place and done crazy things, and I just slept. 
2. Even though I think Whitney is the perfect size she is always talking about how she is not. It blows my mind. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her she is the perfect size, she always believes she isn't.
3. Whitney loves her plants. She has some plants she leaves on the dresser, and she calls them her planties. The hilarious thing is how much she talks about her planties. I cannot tell you how many mornings one of the first things that comes out of Whitney's mouth is "we gotta open the windows for my planties!" If action is not taken immediately, the planties will surely die. 
4. Before I was married, Whitney's dad and sister warned me about Whitney right when she wakes up in the morning. I thought maybe it could be bad, but actually Whitney is usually really snuggly and soo cute in the mornings. There are the occasional mornings where she is really upset about something pretty crazy, but most of the time she often just wants to stay in bed and it is wonderful!
5. I always imagined marriage would be great, but in reality it is so much better.  I tell Whitney all the time this is true. It is so amazing to not have to go home at night, to be able to stay together, live together, go through things together. It's amazing.