Some Thoughts

On hair...

I'm the type of person who is very emotionally attached to their hair. I usually follow trims up with a cry, but last week I cut off more than eight inches and I loved it! No regret at all.

On driving in Utah...

I never really thought about road rage until I moved to and started driving around Utah. I used to think it was just a stereotype that Utah drivers are crazy but as it turns out,  it is 100% true. At any given intersection you can be sure that at least two cars will run the red light. It's also the only state where I can reliably drive 5 mph over the speed limit and still be the slowest one on the road. And signaling? People only signal in Utah after they are already entering your lane, like it or not. I eventually realized that people in Utah are just used to driving like this. They don't realize they are being unsafe or rude. If I got upset over everything I thought other drivers were doing wrong, I would develop full blown road rage. In fact, I'm certain I was developing road rage because suddenly I felt like cutting rude drivers off and driving slow when someone rode my bumper. I'm learning to let go and move on.

On diets and fad foods...

I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead on Netflix and while I was enthused and amazed and inspired, as a true believer in science, I'd like to tell everyone that a juice-only diet or 'juice-detox' is not necessarily healthy. Sure vegetable juice is healthier that a Mickey D's but fat and fiber are an essential part of diet, none of which you can get from juice. In fact, omitting fat and fiber causes the sugar in your juice to be absorbed into the blood stream too quickly, spiking blood sugar and thereby increasing your rick of diabetes.

On living in New York...

I'm slowly feeling more and more like I'll love living in Manhattan, partially because of my Aunt's New York tour book and partially because of prayer. I guess that's the beauty of putting things in God's hands. You end up loving things you never thought you would love and doing things you never thought you would do.

On Blackfish...

I watched the documentary and was horrified. Whether or not anyone values animal life, everyone should be repulsed by how obviously little Seaworld values human life. I could not believe the cover-ups highlighted in Blackfish. Instead of being candid with the trainers about the danger they were in and developing effective emergency protocols, they refused to acknowledge the orca were responsible at all! Totally sickening.

On doctors and dentist...

I'm dying young and letting my teeth fall out. On the whole, going to doctors and dentist has been throughly not worth the medical bills. Sorry Carter.

On pregnancy...

I'm almost 20 weeks and will very soon find out the gender of this child. Carter and I already love this baby more that we ever knew would could love a fetus. Little fetus, I'm going to the gym and eating vegetables for breakfast just for you!

Body Image

a Las Vegas vacation

It's true that Carter always tells me I am the perfect size. I don't believe him. He tells me I don't need to lose any weight and I still don't believe him. At first, I thought he was lying to keep me happy. When he convinced me that, in fact, he really believes it, I thought, "How can he not see what I see?" Cognitively, I know overall health should be the goal rather than losing weight; I even strive for it by exercising and eating moderately. And yet, I don't really believe it.

I never thought I had body image issues until I married Carter. I thought I was normal. I mean, I wasn't extreme dieting or throwing up in bathroom. Ultimately, the problem is that I am normal. When I think about where this 'normal' mode of thinking came from, I think about the girl in high school who only drank water at lunch to lose a few pounds, the middle school acquaintance mentioning that she liked lying on her back because it flattens her stomach, or the college neighbor who said all her problems would go away if she were skinny. Of course none of those girls were overweight, in fact they all looked just like me. Cue internalization.

People like to blame body image issues on Photoshop and Barbie but I played with and stopped playing with Barbie long before I thought about what I looked like. For all I knew she looked just like me. I didn't even realize people could visually tell I was a different race until middle school. And I started feeling fat long before Photoshop and the Internet were a thing. I think the fact I have several explicit memories of girls I knew talking about their body speaks volumes as to how society really perpetuates body image issues. Reading this letter to a mother about body image helped me understand it even more.

And so I guess this is a call to all girls to change, if not the way we think about our bodies, then the way we talk about our bodies. If all mothers and sisters and friends talked about the things they liked about their bodies instead of the things they didn't like, we could change an entire generation. Of all the things I want to give my baby, a healthy body image is a definite priority.

poolside, Las Vegas

Good Reads: A Thousand Lives

Apparently, I'm really into depressing books because, like Matterhorn, this one doesn't have a happy page in it. Happy endings are all we humans look for, but in reality they are subtle and often elusive. This book depicts the not-so-happy but true ending for one thousand people, the inhabitants of Jonestown. 

If you are unfamiliar with the story, Jonestown was a colony in Guyana founded by Jim Jones for his congregation, The People's Temple. Jim Jones began as any pastor but over time he became a paranoid leader of a cult. His followers found themselves trapped in a colony thousands of miles away from the U.S. with no way out except suicide. One thousand people died in a mass murder/suicide by poisoned red Kool-aid. The book follows the progression of The People's Temple from its foundation to its demise.

Cult leader, Jim Jones with some children of the People's Temple.

After I finished this book, I couldn't stop thinking about it. You would think that the one thousand were unhinged death-cult members, just as CNN and the Times depicted. From reading the book I realized that most of the people were just average. I wondered, "How is it that such normal people from typical backgrounds could follow such an obviously deranged man to their deaths? Why didn't they leave? Seek help? Resist?" In the chilling words of one survivor: "No one sets out to joins a cult." The answer to my questions is also found A Thousand Lives. Each person ignored small, but telling warning signs. They continuously choose to justify little deviations from 'normal' and with each justification, they grew used to their new reality. Eventually they found themselves trapped. Their perception was too distorted for them to see the truth about the leader and their forthcoming death.

I think the experiences of the one thousand Jonestown inhabitants is a very striking analogy to sin and addiction. It begins with small choices and gentle justifications. I would say to all suffering from addiction and living in sin that your ending is still unwritten. You do not have to follow your choices to their bitter end. True change can always be found in Jesus Christ.

Anyway, I would highly recommend the book with the disclaimer that it contains some very disturbing material. It's the kind of disturbing event that gives great insight into human behavior and the human experience. For the same reason you find the holocaust interesting, though horrifying, you will enjoy this book.

Jim Jones was notoriously charming and taught with the fervor of a Baptist preacher.

The photo of the mass suicide that appeared on the cover of the Times. Many dead with a large vat of poisoned kool-aid.

Interesting Conversation Starters

Before I married Carter, I HATED dating. I mean, I know I didn't spend that much time dating because I was married fairly young, but it pretty much sucked the whole time I was doing it. At the time, I pretended like I liked it because, well, what else was I going to do? It's the kind of thing you can't escape when you're at BYU. Every conversation revolves around it. And if you're not talking about boys, it's because you're on a date with a boy and you're making boring small talk instead. I remember just craving real, significant conversation. I had some great friends that gave me that kind of mental stimulation but, still, the majority of time was devoted to he-likes-her, she-like-him.

Now that I'm married I don't have to talk about things I don't want to talk about. Haha! We don't talk about dating, we don't make boring small talk, and we say exactly what we think (mostly me)! At least with each other, Carter and I are both fairly good conversationalists, but considering we spend every spare moment together it's good for us to read separately. Carter reads the news and science fiction, while I read non-fiction and blogs haha.

So maybe this isn't a list of party ice-breakers, per say, but it IS a list of great conversational material for that person who lets you talk about what you want to talk about.

The Matt Walsch's blog. He addresses so many everyday issues pertinent to our society and in such a well-stated, slightly-rantish way. I love it. Specifically, I love this article  called, Stop calling your wife 'the boss'. 

This three-part series on feminism in america called Makers: Women Who Make America. I loved part I and part III but part II has some parts you'll probably want to skip over. The series really helped me understand that some not so great things came out of the feminist movement - like increased sexualization of women and the decreased importance of family in society - while at the same time, lots of other great things came about because of the feminist movement - including increased female achievement, decreased tolerance of domestic abuse, and greater male participation in family. If you watch this, you should talk to me about it! 

This article about pro-choicers becoming pro-lifers. It's a serious issue and everyone should spend serious time thinking about what they believe. The below picture is not propaganda but the facts of a 22-week abortion.

Lies My History Teacher: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong. In it, James Loewen emphasizes the "dark side" of American history that is often misrepresented in textbooks. I'm always quoting this book to Carter. The book stresses the importance of reading history with a critical view and I think the same is true of his version of history. I think it's a fascinating book but I would recommend reading it with a grain of salt! 

And finally I'd recommend this interesting TED talk called How to Live to be 100+. It's completely relatable to everyone human and I've been surprised how often I can bring it up in casual conversation and not be weird.

I would love to talk to anyone about any of these links. In fact, it might be nice to occasionally talk to someone else besides Carter :)

I was a terrible person yesterday

I read this story on a friend's blog and it got me thinking, do I help people out of pity and moral obligation rather than love, too?

I was finished grocery shopping at Winco and in the process of loading my car when a man and his 9-year-old son approached me. He had to ask 3 times for money for the Frontrunner before I understood his question. Knowing the money was most likely not for the Frontrunner, I uncomfortably replied that I was unsure if I was carrying any cash but I would check. I gave him the ten I found in my wallet but added, “Here, next time just don’t take your son.” I said that. Can you believe I SAID THAT? Not only was I uncommonly rude, but I openly judged him. No disciple of Christ should ever act like I did.
 Sure I gave the man some money, but I gave it with pity and judgment rather than love. Why was I so uncomfortable anyway? Isn’t he a son of God too? Shouldn’t I be happy to help?  I should have given him money and then offered them a ride. I should have asked if they needed anything else I could give. I could have shown him Christian love and then shared the gospel. Instead I totally botched the whole situation, and turned my back on that man and I turned my back on God, who might have sent him to me for help.
 I’ve repented but, unfortunately, there are just some things I will always regret.

Mormon Questions: Young Married Mormons

Carter and I in front of the Salt Lake Temple a month before we were married there.

A while ago I read this post called How to Train A Mormon and I haven't been able to get the topic out of my head since. In the post, the author explains that when she was young and naive she expected people outside of Utah to ask questions about her "glowing light" and why she was so happy. Instead, she was surprised to face questions more like, "Why don't you drink coffee?" and "Why do you wait to have sex until marriage?" In the article, the author goes on to talk about obedience and why mormons aren't weird and yada yada.

The article got me thinking though, what questions am I asked about Mormonism and how do I answer?  So I'm making this into a series of posts titled: Mormon Questions. I'm hoping there is a little of something for everyone. If you've ever been asked an unexpected question about Mormonism and answered well, or even not-so-well, then please share your experiences! If you are a Mormon but you've never lived in an area where Mormons are a novelty, then maybe you've never encountered such questions before. However, chances are you will someday! If you are not a Mormon but have unanswered question about what exactly Mormons believe, then maybe I'll be able to answer a few.

So, no. 1 on the list is : "Why do Mormons get married so young?"

I'm not sure if it's because I am recently married (10 months) or what but, surprisingly, this THE most-asked question by my friends and random strangers.

The answer is that there are likely many reasons why, but my favorite reason is because we believe that family is most important in this life. To us, families are a priority, and, consequently, there is no reason (including career goals) to put off having one. I usually throw in there that it isn't a church policy; no one is dictating that we get married and have babies before 25. Sometimes I even joke(dryly) about BYU: "When you throw a bunch of 20-something kids together all thinking about marriage, some of them are bound to go through with it."

I think most people think marrying so young is naive. I was married fairly young, and likely naively, but, like most Christians, we believe that God helps two imperfect people come together to have a perfect marriage.

My least favorite answer to this question is: "Because we don't believe in sex before marriage." It makes all Mormons sound like sex-deprived zombies. Sure, it's true that we believe in abstinence before marriage, but no sane individual gets married just for sex. It may be a component of a desire for marriage but more like a top 100 reason and not a top 5. So maybe don't include this in a conversation about Mormons. PLEASE.

So what do you guys think? Really, truly, I'm very interested to see how you answer this question!

Everyone needs to sign this petition NOW

I mean, only if you care about the future of your children and country. Require Porn to be an "Opt In" feature with Internet Service Providers rather than a standard feature. Sign here please.

From the petitioners:

In its current state, Internet porn seeks out users by email solicitations and massive amounts of free content throughout Internet browser searches. The average person, even children, can type in the word "cat" or "home" or "soup" and instantly be inundated with offensive and disturbing pornographic images. Parents and individuals have to go to great lengths to install Internet filters that often don't weed out all porn. We are asking for greater protection and responsibility from Internet Service providers and our country. We are asking that people who are interested in porn should have to seek it and choose it. They should have to "Opt In" for it by making arrangements to receive it with their Internet Service Provider. Everyone else should be free from it and assumed "Opt Out".

Be like Britain! Sign this petition!(see what I did there?)

This Is Happening

Carter's sister-in-law has a great blog, This Is Happening, that I happen to adore for her intelligent musings. I'm sharing a post from her lovely blog that I LOVED for its insight into a confusing biblical topic:

The Serious Voice 

My baby is pretty little. He's too little to really be able to do anything to make me very angry, and certainly not intentionally. Sometimes I find that I have to gently punish him, but without fail it's because he did something either hurtful or dangerous, to him or me or others, and I need to teach him not to do it again. In fact, when I have to punish him, I'm usually so NOT angry that I have to fake this "serious voice," and I feel like I sound really silly, but I want him, in all his littleness, to understand how serious I am.

I was reading the scriptures this afternoon, and the Lord was making some pretty severe threats. The Jehovah we see in the Old Testament seems to be pretty severe, and there are other places in the scriptures that His words seem to take a very serious tone. Sometimes I have wondered how these threats and punishments can possibly come from the God we know, who we know to be kind and loving and merciful and tender.

But then, remembering grabbing Eli away from the kitchen garbage for the umpteenth time this morning, I realized. It's entirely possible that when the Lord says something like this: "In my fierce anger will I visit them in their iniquities and abominations... It shall come to pass that this generation, because of their iniquities, shall be brought into bondage, and shall be smitten on the cheek; yea, and shall be driven by men, and shall be slain; and the vultures of the air, and the dogs, yea, and the wild beasts, shall devour their flesh," he's not being vengeful. Actually, to me, it's more than possible, it's what I believe to be true. Because God is perfect, and even though I do sometimes get mad at Eli unnecessarily, God would not, and does not. God does not take things personally, and God does not like to punish his children. His threats aren't just-give-me-a-reason-to-do-it threats. This is the serious voice.

And here's the serious voice again: "Therefore I command you to repent--repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore--how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not." That's less a threat than a plea. From a Father who wants his children, even though they're very little and may not really understand everything he tells them, to understand the gravity of the situation and learn not to disobey.

Love and chastening, justice and mercy. The older I get, the less they seem like opposites and the more they seem like twins.

Reconsidering Sleepovers

So I read this article on LDS Living and I'm wondering: Is a no-sleepover policy a crazy mom or a informed parent rule?

In the article, Wendy Green argues that  sleepovers allow a slew of problems including:

limited parental supervision
differing standard between households (access to guns, use of porn, R and X rated movies, video games)
sexual abuse including from peers acting out victimization
increased peer pressure (you can be registered as a sex offender if caught skinny-dipping or streaking)
drug and alcohol experimentation

One family I knew told a story about a well-respected lawyer who was accused by his daughter's friend of sexual abuse and although she later confessed to have accused him over some rift between the friends, his practice was shot.

While I can sing to her melody, aren't all of these problems present during "late-nights" or even regular hangouts? Isn't this a more of a problem with prolonged time away from home?

What do you all think? Have your sleepover experiences been problem-free or somewhat troublesome? I've never had a problem at one, though there have been some odder experiences (mother making me take a bath with their daughter. I mean, I was eight, but still).

Macy Makes My Day

October is Down's Syndrome Awareness Month! Did you know that 9 out of 10 women who find out that their child has Down's Syndrome will terminate the pregnancy? Does this news shock you? I bet most of these women never grew up in close proximity to someone with Down's Syndrome. If they had, then they would know that of course raising a child with DS comes with great difficulty (like any child) but it also comes with great joy! They would know that while Down's Syndrome children will never be developmentally perfect, they will still live full, happy lives. I think we should encourage more  women to keep their Down's Syndrome babies and see them as different, not damaged. 

Macy Makes My Day is an instagram created by a mother about her Down's Syndrome daughter, Macy. In her own words, she created the account because, "in this day and age with social media, we have endless opportunities to promote whatever the heck we want. And while social media may often be used for selfish and less than ideal purposes it's at my disposal to help the whole world see the beauty and gift that Down syndrome is." She adopted Macy as a baby and truly believes that parents of Down's Syndrome children are the blessed few. Some of Carter's family are looking to adopt a DS child and I think they would agree :) The portraits into Macy's life show a beautiful, vibrant, loving fashonista who only needed a chance at life to thrive. You absolutely have to look at her insta! She's adorable! Macy's mom also has a blog: Oh Macyn!

Ideas are Only Multipliers

I read this today from Derek Silvers and thought I would share:

It's so funny when I hear people being so protective of ideas. (People who want me to sign an NDA to tell me the simplest idea.) To me, ideas are worth nothing unless executed. They are just a multiplier. Execution is worth millions.

He goes on to explain that you have to multiply an idea and its execution to understand how much a business is worth. An idea on it's own is only worth a few dollars; even the most brilliant ideas out there are only worth twenty or so dollars. The execution is really where the money is at. A brilliant idea multiplied by brilliant execution is worth billions but a brilliant idea and no execution is worth nothing. Twitter is going public and their company is likely worth a BILLION dollars. I mean, TWITTER. My, and everyone else's, initially reaction to Twitter was, "Why would anybody use that?" and yet everyone you know and the White House uses it. A perfect example of a so-so idea with genius execution.

Does that sound like common sense? I guess it is, but the kind of common sense that everyone needs to know and be reminded of. I needed the reminder in regards to my life and food blog. In case you are wondering why that blog has sat stagnant for a couple of weeks (not that anyone except my most devoted stalkers would wonder that) it's because I'm thinking about what kind of blog I want it to be and who my target audience is and yada yada yada--all that stuff you learn in Freshman English and think is kinda irrelevant. Also, I'm in the middle of a DIY blog redesign which is talking waaaay longer than planned. Also I might be pregnant (not really) because I recklessly haven't renewed my birth control prescription and thus haven't taken it for a week so who knows? Ha ha. . . ha.

ANYWAYS, I've been somewhat pessimistic about the whole thing because a food blog is no new idea and there are thousands of them on these inter webs. How is anyone ever going to read MY blog and cook MY food? What do I even know about cooking? I'm only twenty-two! I didn't go to culinary school! I don't even know how to make pasta from scratch (I watched an 11 yr old on Junior Master Chef make a perfect gnocchi the day after my attempt at gnocchi miserably failed)! I only cook with foreign foods sometimes! SEE HOW THIS QUICKLY SPINS OUT OF CONTROL?

So what I'm trying to say is that I needed to remind myself that while my idea is not-so-new all I really need is some good execution. I think I can do this?

Conflicted at Work

Whenever people ask the "What are you doing these days?" question I usually answer with a truthful but not whole answer, something like "I work for the Alpine school district as a teaching assistant." For most people that usually does the trick, but the inquiring few ask "What school?" or "What grade?" And then I say well, actually it's a group home. And then they say what's a group home? And I answer it's where kids who are in state custody but need higher surveillance than a foster home go to live. And then they ask why are they there? And finally, I'm forced into the whole truth: it's a group home for underage male sexual offenders.

It's a dance I've perfected.

I try to avoid the end of this ritual, not because I am ashamed of my job but because I always hate what comes next: the look of offense or worry or alarm and then the final question, "What did they do?", with the underlying assumption that the answer could sum up the whole of their existence.

I always want to say "It's complicated" but I never do. Instead, I brush it off with a simple I don't know. In fact, I have some ideas but they're not pretty. If I tell them to you, you will imagine some picture of a sexual predator. That is partially true. Some of their crimes are truly horrific. If I focus on that side of their past I find myself emotionally distancing myself from them, so I try not to do that. They need love and discipline, not distance.

What I want you to know is that they aren't just sexual predators. They are people like you and me. In a way, that's even more frightening because they are just like you and me--not internally of course, but externally they are just like any demographic of teenage boys. It is absolutely chilling to realize there are likely many more undetected sexual predators in schools. I mean if you came into our classroom (or even taught here for that matter) you would have no idea. So most of the time I don't think of them as sexual offenders. I get in the mode of thinking of them as normal guys--something I can't afford to do. Carter worries about my safety at work, though I always tell him it is unecessary. At school we're all stuffed into one classroom with three to five other adults at any given moment, and even if I ever were alone with any of the kids, only two of them are big enough to pose any real threat. In any case, none of these boys are particularly aggressive; they're manipulative--their victims are usually trusting children they know that can take advantage of. Therein lies the real threat. If I forget that they are sexual offenders, it's easier to put myself in compromising situations. So I try to always remember.

Another confusing part of this puzzle is how much I love them. I love them! I want them to recover and  succeed and live normal lives with loving families and good jobs, not suffer for all the horrible things they've done. And the thing is God loves them. He has their names written on the palms of His hands. He looks to his lost sheep and mourns. I, too, find myself mourning their lost childhoods and broken minds. To be so emotionally, mentally, and physically unstable is so tragic for such a young age. I mean, 13! 17! It's too young. Some of them have really dysfunctional families that explain how wrong their lives are at their age, but some of them have really normal parents who are absolutely heartbroken by their child's choices.

So there it is: the pity and horror and love all jumbled up in my mind everyday. When I go to work I have to simultaneously remember their crimes and forget they are criminals. It's an inner conflict I'm still working on.

Summer Reads: Matterhorn

Graduating and just working part-time while I try to get my act together has left me with mountains of extra time. At first I wasted away my free time with the same reckless abandon I used in college. I mean, what if I never had another free moment to waste again? What if this was my last chance to mindlessly troll pinterest and facebook and dream about future renovations to hypothetical houses?

Several months later, I realize there is only so much time a week I can waste and still maintain my self-esteem. All of this is just to say that I am reading more and I started a food blog. Only Carter (and now the rest of the internet) knows that cooking and food occupy 30% of my daily thoughts. You should know, as an accurate estimation, 30% is A LOT of time and thoughts. It only barely falls under how often I think of Carter and rises far above the thoughts I devote to finding a full-time job. Being real here. My new food blog is called A Dash or Two and I focus on easy, fast recipes with uncompromised taste. Part of me wants to bury this blog in the depths of the Internet until I can perfect every recipe and word but in an effort for personal growth, I putting myself out there mistakes and all. It's a work in progress but take a look anyway and if you don’t now, don’t worry I’ll probably be spamming your facebooks and blogger in the future.

In other, aforementioned news, I am reading more. I should probably just get one of those Goodreads accounts but there are only so many social media sites a real human can join, hence:

Matterhorn: A Review

In the spirit of full disclosure, you probably will feel depressed at the end of Matterhorn. It is a fictional book set in the Vietnam War, though written by an actual Vietnam combat veteran based on his experiences. Aaaaand the language is way past borderline. BUT in its defense it entirely changed the way I view war. I want to share my favorite part of the book in which two soldiers are talking on the eve of a major and deadly battle:

“You think we go to heaven when we die?” Jermain asked.

“I don’t think nothin’. I believe Jesus take care of us when we die.” Cortell looked at Jermain. “Believin’s not thinkin’.”

Jermain took that in for a while. “What if you’re wrong?”

Cortell laughed. “What if you wrong? You been worse off than me all you life. I got the safe bet, not you.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t believe.”

“No, you just playing it safe and not choosin’. Jesus don’t want you to play safe. You don’t get anyplace if you don’t choose.”

“I don’t want to go nowhere but back to the world.”

“Yeah, I be right there with you,” Cortell said. He was silent for a moment. Then he said, “Ever’one here think it easy for me. I be this good little church boy from Mississippi with my good little church-goin’ Mammy, and since I be this stupid country nigger with the big faith, I don’t have no troubles. Well, it just don’t work that way.” He paused. Jermain said nothing. “I see my friend Williams get ate by a tiger,” Cortell continued, “I see my friend Broyer get his face ripped off by a mine. What you think I do all night, sit around thankin’ Sweet Jesus? Raise my palms to sweet heaven and cry hallelujah? You know what I do? You know what do? I lose my heart.” Cortell’s throat suddenly tightened, strangling his words. “I lose my heart.” He took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure. He exhaled and went on quietly, back in control. “I sit there and I don’t see any hope. Hope gone.” Cortell was seeing his dead friends. “Then the sky turn gray again in the east, and you know what I do? I choose all over again to keep believin’…It ain’t no easy thing.”

I LOVE that passage. I love that he describes faith as a choice. Unreligious people so often look at the religious and think that we are all brainwashed, somehow fooled by a mass delusion. What they don’t realize is that faith and hope is a choice, and it’s a choice everyday. Some days it’s easy to choose faith but other times it can be very, very hard. Isn’t that a beautiful passage?

The Name Game

I've been considering whether or not I should change my name. . .but ya know,  not really.

Part of me really likes my last name. Landon. It's phonetic, in the middle of the alphabet, and doesn't hint of some trashy celebrity. It has always made me feel like a part of a whole, one of the Landon clan. I imagine keeping it would be kinda chic and different and maybe a tinsy bit feminist, like a statement of "I know who I am and this is it." Feminism carries so many bad connotations, none of which I really mean. I don't really mean to say that taking his last name would encourage male oppression of the female population. 

Having said that, I've been pretty sensitive to gender discrimination lately. I think it's a phase but I can't be sure. Gender discrimination still exists, did you know that? Women still get paid less than men for performing the same job. So your "make me a sandwich jokes" aren't really funny. 

 Sorry. Rant.

Anyway, Carter doesn't know that I have been thinking of keeping my last name. We talked about it and I told him I would take Davis. And I will, despite my musings, because in the end presenting a united front and working in unity with my husband is most important . . . maybe we can hyphenate? (just kidding, Carter)

P.S. You can read more stories on last name decisions at The Last Name Project.