New York! New York!

The best part about living in New York is having so many strangers tell me congratulations and offering up their subway seats to me! There's no better way to make this pregnant lady happy. The housekeepers in my building are especially hilarious. They always call me mama in their heavy Mexican accents, "Rest, mama, it's too hot" or "Mama, take it easy." It quickly became obvious that they don't speak very much English.

"Where you from?"
"My mom is from Korea."
"Where you having the baby?"
"I'm going back to Utah."
"Oh, not going back to Korea? You have the baby in New York,  it will be a citizen."
"Well, I'm having the baby in Utah so he will be a citizen...and I'm a citizen."
"Have baby in New York. It will be citizen."
"...Ok."

That conversation is, in a lot of ways, representative of life in NY, in that the range in the human experience is overwhelming.  I'm here relaxing in New York for the summer while these ladies work menial jobs, only wishing for their children to be citizens. And don't even get me started on homelessness.

Despite my earlier reluctance to move here, I love New York, too. Did you know 1 in 50 people in the U.S. live in New York City? Apparently, it can't be helped! It's a disease and I've caught the bug. We live in the Upper West Side right next to Central Park. It's practically a dream come true! I'm talking, long strolls in the park at firefly dusk and mid-morning breakfast picnics. Soooo dreamy.

So in short, Carter and I would be happy to come back to New York for a couple of years but we have other considerations that might get in the way of that. Ultimately, our future family and Carter's career are our priorities. We're not sure right now what that means for our next couple years but we've called upon the oracle of Delphi and we are waiting for the response. I guess, let you know when we get it?

p.s. Those pictures were actually taken a month ago. Right now I'm at 30 weeks!

Life Update

We're pregnant! And by we, I mean me, although we've never really tried to get Carter pregnant. But that's another story for another day on Medical Mysteries. If truth be told, we weren't even trying in particular to get me pregnant but we are still so very happy about it! I'm even a little relieved. It's about time someone (God, the Fates, Karma, Carter's sperm, ect.) made some life-altering choices for me.

We'll be full-fledged parents around October 18th. I'm thirteen weeks along yesterday though I've only been growing this little human for about 11 or so weeks. Who knew that they date your baby from your last period? I guess that's when the follicle started maturing? #biologymajorproblems

In other news Carter is a smarty pants and scored an internship with the New York Federal Reserve this summer. So we'll be packing up and shipping out in June. I'm going to call it my doing-nothing-in-NYC vacation. I look forward to it as the last vacation where all I worry about is me. In the fall we'll return to Provo so I can push a baby out of my uterus and Carter can finish his last year at BYU. After that Carter has the option of returning to Manhattan to work for the New York Federal Reserve for two years or going to a graduate school.

Is it extremely lame of me that I don't want to live in New York, NY? I guess it all comes down to priorities and right now my priorities revolve around Caribbean vacations and home-ownership and backyards, all of which are not helped by living in New York on a pittance government salary. And if Carter takes the job and then goes to grad school we'll have an EIGHT-year-old by the time he actually graduates!

But if Carter goes straight to grad school in an affordable location, we might be able to buy a house/condo right now. And raise all our children in nice neighborhoods where they can walk themselves to school and play in playgrounds without rat infestations and enjoy water blobs in their own backyard. I mean. NYC is not the most kid-friendly.

The main argument for the NYC job is that Carter will have a regular 9-5 job and will be able to spend copious amount of time with our baby. So that's a plus.

So what would you do? Do you love NYC and think it's a great place for kids?

What We Are Up To

My favorite picture of Carter and his favorite picture of me. #hottiez

If you are wondering what we are up to...so am I (lame joke). There should be a college class called 'Making Life Decisions' where someone (not me) plans out your life decisions for you and then everything goes according to plan. That's the hard part really: having everything go according to plan. So far Carter and I are only slightly above putting all our life choices in a throwback MASH game and letting fate decide.

This post is probably only as relevant as November 24th 2013 because we change our minds literally everyday. Not an exaggeration.

Carter is both the smartest and the craziest person I know. He'll be graduating in April 2015 with a double major in Math and Economics AND a double minor in Computer Science and Statistics. After that he's leaving reality forever to get a PhD in Finance, preferably at MIT, Stanford, Harvard, or University of Chicago, in that order. I'm rooting for Stanford because CALIFORNIA. Carter's very lofty ambitions make me very happy but also a little sad because it means we'll probably be living in East Coast apartments forever (also not an exaggeration). When I told this to a lady in my ward, she told me that they lived at Wymount for 7 years and loved it!!!

I'm currently working as a Teaching Assistant for a boy's group home and I love it! Originally, I took this job even though it's only part time because I was planning to get a Secondary Science Teaching License in Utah but...well, see above. Between my graduation last April and now, my plans have oscillated like a yo-yo, though now I've settled on getting a second Bachelors degree from BYU-Idaho online in Web Design and Development! Not very many people I know think this is a great idea and even part of me thinks I should grow up and get a real job at a bank or insurance company. I'm set on it, though, mostly because it feels so right. And 'feeling right' has to count for something?

After almost 6 months of investigating different web design/web development programs, I thought it wasn't in the cards. "Oh well, maybe someday when Carter is a university professor," I thought. I even enrolled and paid tuition at Utah Valley University, but withdrew a month later because the whole situation felt all wrong. AND THEN at church I saw an ad for the BYU-I online program. It was inexpensive and timely and even BETTER than all the other expensive programs I had looked at. Unlike my short time as as student of UVU, everything came along smoothly and I'm starting Winter Semester 2014 and hopefully finishing Spring 2015!

The need for this degree mostly comes from a need for a marketable skill that I could support our 4 imaginary children with. Unfortunately, neuroscience is totally NOT useful unless you are going to medical/dental school and I am not. Carter and I attend a family ward where I visit teach 4 ladies with my two companions. GET THIS: All of the women I visit teach AND my companions have non-traditional family situations. One lady was in a car accident where her husband and son were killed, leaving her with 6 (or 5?) young children and disabled legs. She's now much older and lives with her best friend and daughter and grandchildren who both work to support them. Another lady is married to a man disabled by short term memory loss fifteen years ago. She works to support them, her son, her mother, and her brother. The third lady went through 2 divorces years ago leaving her to care for 2 year-old daughter alone. And that's JUST the ladies we visit teach! We don't even live in a low income area (fairly mid-range)! I mean, is this a sign from the universe?? Should I be concerned?!

Carter says:
I ate carots all day long. That's when my dog ate chicken nuggets and french fries and boom, the cheese balls came out of nowhere. Very fun and awesome. I love duckies too. plug the burger are nice and then the dragon ate my green apple, and i was like what, apples come in green? I love wood that smokes bacon. Salmon is weird stuff, sometimes they are fishies and sometimes salmon is a kind of food served in restaurants and I was like, what? crazy. Deep frying turkies is crazy. Notra Dame is crazy and I don't know what to do about it.

See what I mean? He's totally nuts.

In ONE Year

Inspired by Caitlin's blog, Blah Blah Blah. So much happens in a year, especially in this stage of my life, so why don't we take a looksies into my crystal ball, hmmmmmm?...

in one year I'll be:

outgrown by yet another roommate who is in wedded bliss.

freaking out about graduating.

a "usual" at salsa club.

either extremely happy about getting into medical school on the (pick any one) coast or really excited about serving a mission. All you sister missionary haters can (inject mean things) because all my friends and I will be/are bombing sister missionaries.

dreaming about moving to Portland or Texas or D.C. or San Diego.

a triathlete BABE.

probs single again. AND LOVING IT. Confession: the other day I tallied up all my married/engaged/soon-to-be-one-of-those friends and felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude that I was not among their ranks. Praise Allah!

sooooooo overwhelmingly broke.

again avoiding all those people from freshman year who are now back from their missions. shudder.

a spoken word performer.

one of those rad people who can quote scriptures word for word from off the top of their head. So the thing is I'm soooooo not a memorizer. But I am a believer.

STILL thinking about the Hunger Games. This will never change. ever.

one year ago I was:

thinking I was maybe going to Med school, then it was Occupational Therapy school, then it was Physical Therapy school, and then it was Physician's Assistant school. Now we're back. Life is funny circles like that sometimes.

wishing I knew how to dance.

applying to the Jerusalem Center.

bemoaning my lack of dates but still liking being single. OH HOW THE TIMES HAVE CHANGED.

helping Sandra readjust to dating after her mission. hahaha

freaking out that I had no hobbies other than school. I fixed this. Don't worry.

head over heals for jimmer and justin beiber.

If you had asked me a year ago where I thought I would be now, I could NEVER have guessed all that would happen. Jerusalem, continued blog writing, first biathlon, numerous blind dates, Hunger Games, caregiving, photography, DanceSport, med school prep... I planned some of it. But most of it just happened. Life is better that way, I've realized.

Update

I've been experiencing a lack of blogger material probably due to the fact that anything I post now is infinitely lame when compared to posting about Jerusalem. Confession: I MISS JERUSALEM. I miss Jerusalem friends. I miss having my schedule totally laid out for me. I miss incredible field trips. I miss new experience every day. I miss just wandering around until I found friends (ok so maybe I still do this in the WILK). And most of all I miss not planning my future.

I feel like everyone around me is moving forward with their lives, getting all married or going on missions and I'm...just not. I mean I AM moving forward with my life, with the MCAT and med school apps and other things I want to do but there's this part of me that feels suspended in time and space. And paralyzed with indecision. I never knew I was so indecisive! I guess it's all part of that awful age 20. I am so young. I don't know how I convince people I am qualified enough to be making my own life-decisions. It might be how aptly I put off midterm studying by watching Pretty Little Lairs on Hulu and dining out at Saigon Cafe, or how most of my sophisticated meals consist of granola bars and vending machine goldfish.

It is nice to feel to feel young every once in a while though, especially since the majority of my dates this semester have been with fresh-off-the-mission RMs. Most of these have been first dates only, based solely on their academic statuses as freshman and occasionally sophomores. You may be attractive and spiritual and fun but there is NO WAY I am sticking around in Provo any longer than it takes me to graduate. FYI. Currently I am invested stalking the juniors/seniors I actually want to date. Let me know if you've figured out how to move from stalking to dating. I'm still working on it.

Tut Tut, Looks Like Rain

Most days life feels phenomenal, so full of possibility and wonder and extraordinary life opportunities. Today, however, life looks like big black pits of despair and stormy clouds and like anywhere I step is a step toward misery and regret. I'm waiting for someone to appear from behind those bookshelves and tell me what I already know: "You're being dramatic. Say a prayer, take a nap and tomorrow will look a little less black pit-esque. Things are hardly ever as final as they seem." Inevitably there would be tears as I whine to them about my inability to make important life decisions or beg for one of those crystal balls that foretells my inescapable future. Eventually, though, I would probably agree with them, explaining away my tears as post-teen hormones or that time of the month. And then life would go on, as it always does. Life goes on.

PS I gots myself a new layout. It's much fresher and cleaner, no? Just like tomorrow, I hope.

I Love to Love!

I think I have an incredible ability to love. Like the love I have for my beautiful new Country Dance TA? Incredible. This, however, gets to be a significant problem especially when faced with life decisions. Exhibit A: a list of BYU majors I wish I had.

Acting

Arabic Language

Bioinformatics

Economics

English

Exercise Science

Food Science

Geography

Graphic Design

Industrial Design

International Relations

Korean

Landscape Management

Mathematics

Media Art Studies

Microbiology

Middle East Studies

Music Dance Theatre

Nursing

Nutritional Science

Photography

Special Education

Theatre Arts Studies

...these can all be hobbies, right???

Obligatory New Years Post

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS!!! So it's a few days late...but don't get your panties in a bunch; I still have 352 days to make and break my resolutions :)

1. Write in my (non-existent) journal at least once a week.

2. STOP BUYING SHOES. 2010 alone involved 7 new pairs....

3. Read scriptures in the morning. Yes, I too am a victim of late-night sleepiness. Not usually a huge problem except when my spiritual cup still needs filling. One of these days I'll wrestle myself out of bed BEFORE class starts.

4. Read. Not romantic fiction, not science fiction, not any fiction. Since high school I've turned into quite the binge reader. If I do read, it's mounds of crap literature that I can just tell is turning my arteries to lard. In honor of Jerusalem, I am reforming my ways and turning to non-fiction literature on middle eastern culture and conflict.

5. Delete my facebook...eventually. Don't get me wrong, it's been real. I'll never forget vague status updates, countless hours spent stalking, or my fair share of made-possible-by-fb dates. To the best wingman ever: cheers! I'll miss ya!

party on Vera

This is a photo of a path behind my house up to the hills. Obvi taken in the summa.

Today I planned my life:

Whitney studies abroad in Jerusalem.
Whitney goes on a mission to Korea.
Whitney graduates from BYU.
Whitney changes her name to Vera.
Vera goes to medical school in NYC.
Vera gets married to Tyler Clive (subject to change).
Vera is best married friends with Jennifer and Jordan.
Vera completes her psychiatry residency in San Diego.
Vera has six children named Abby, Lionel, Shaw, Penelope, Renee, and Parker.
Vera finishes her first sprint triathlon.
Vera develops a new treatment for depression.
Vera is widely known as an excellent matchmaker in her community.
Vera starts a non-profit organization for North Korean refugees.
Vera serves a mission with her husband Tyler to Korea.
Vera finishes the last item on her bucket list: live to 100.

Someone once said if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans.