A Very Merry Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas Eve dear family and friends! We are feeling so blessed this Christmas season with the amazing year we’ve had.

We started off 2014 with a welcome surprise: I was expecting! For several weeks I had felt like I might be pregnant but we were both in disbelief. After two drugstore pregnancy tests, we believed. That semester Carter finished up his Junior of his two-major (Math and Economics) degree and I worked part-time at a group home for boys teaching math and science while starting a degree in Web Design and Development and suffering through morning (all-day) sickness. After finishing my Neuroscience degree at BYU back in 2013, I decided to return to school and pursue a degree in web design. After months of researching different programs, I discovered BYU-I had an online program and I instantly knew it was the right fit. If I take three classes every semester, I should be able to finish my second Bachelors in Fall 2016. Surprisingly, I’ve loved the development side of my degree much more than the design side. I’ve learned so much already and am excited to continue my education.

Carter was accepted for an internship at the New York Federal Reserve Bank so we traveled to New York, New York for the summer months. We lived just off of Central Park West and 103rd street and loved it. According to Carter, working just off of Wall Street with researchers who directly affect fiscal policy was one of the most amazing experiences of his life. I spent the NY months taking walks in Central Park and shopping in Baby Gap. With the impending birth of our child, I figured I should just enjoy one last childless vacation :). From Shakespeare in the Park to the Bronx Zoo to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and more, we tried—and succeeded, I think—to maximize our time as New Yorkers. Carter and I still have high hopes that we’ll return to live in NY in the future. 

In October, we welcomed Noah Carter Davis into our family on his due date, the 18th. The labor and delivery went well and Noah was born just 5 hours after I was admitted to the hospital. Noah did spend three days in the NICU due to low blood-sugar issues, but is healthy and well now. At his two month check-up he came in at 11 pounds and 23 inches. So he is definitely on the smaller side, but growing. After our NICU scare, we are even more grateful for temples so that we can be sealed to Noah for this life and the next. Caring for an infant has been a wild ride that we are happy to be on (at least most of the time)!

Carter is now applying to graduate schools in finance—I’m rooting for Stanford—and economics so we are excited to see where next year takes us! We have a testimony that God loves us and cares about all the little things we care about, even if it is just a New York vacation for a pregnant mama. His infinite grace and mercy astounds us every day, especially at this time of year as we focus on the miracle of Christ’s birth. This season, we are sharing the gift by doing more family history work (#HeIsTheGift). Some weeks that just means recording and sharing more of our own family’s stories of faith and hope.

We are thankful for our wonderful friends and family and wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

6 Weeks

I took these photos at 6 weeks, just before we blessed Noah at church. It was beautiful and I cried. We named Noah with the biblical prophet in mind and Carter blessed our little boy that, though he would encounter opposition, especially in his religion, he would be blessed with the strength and determination to follow God's will. It was the best blessing I've ever heard.

I'm obsessed with his tiny fingers and toes! They're a bit of a trick to photograph though, because they are constantly moving. At 6 weeks Noah started to smile and coo. I can't even tell you what a godsend a baby smile is to a tired momma. Oh the validation!

Mormon Questions: Book of Mormon Musical

I've started off every post of this series talking about how hilarious I think it is to be asked these questions about Mormonism. So why stop now, right? (But really and truly, being asked about Mormonism has never been offensive, only varying degrees of amusing. Keep on asking away!) Every time someone asks me if I've seen the Book of Mormon Musical I can't help but think they are joking. Except they never are. They're always asking in order to ask the follow-up question: What did you think of it? The problem is, I've never seen it! Or ever wanted to see it, or ever known another Mormon who has seen it. So. . .

We watch musicals, just not ones that make fun of our religion. You understand, don't you?

The thing is, I already know about Mormons. . . I am one. And I don't really care to watch several hours of Broadway that make fun of not only my beloved religion but all organized religion in general. If you have more specific questions about the musical then maybe I could address those? Like, post a comment or something? e.g. someone once asked me in the subway if we really believe that Joseph Smith pulled gold plates out of the ground and translated them into the Book of Mormon. Yes, we do. You can read more of what I believe about Joseph Smith in a past post.

If all you really wanted to know is how I feel about a Tony-winning musical making fun of my religion, then I can say most of what I feel is eh with *shoulder shrug*. Haters gonna hate. Though I do know some people who take offense. You can read my friend's response to the musical on her blog Valpo Studio (I don't think she's seen it either).

The official statement released in response to the musical by my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is only one sentence:

The production may attempt to entertain audiences for an evening, but the Book of Mormon as a volume of scripture will change people's lives forever by bringing them closer to Christ.

Word.

Other posts from my Mormon Questions series:
Do you practice polygamy? // Do you really believe Joseph Smith was a prophet? // I don't understand all this Mormon jargon. // Do you have special underwear? // Why do Mormons get married so young?

Mormon Questions: Polygamy

A pregnant lady and her boo hitting up the sites in Washington D.C!

All the time when I tell people that I'm married and Mormon they follow up by asking - very politely - how many wives my husband has. LOL. I get it, it's a unique cultural heritage and Big Love is a popular television show. I explain that I am and will continue to be Carter's ONLY wife.

Polygamy was practiced by my church over a hundred years ago. In the late 1800s polygamy was outlawed in the United States and, in accordance with the new laws, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stop practicing polygamy as well in 1890. There are still polygamous groups of people in Southern Utah and Nevada who may call themselves 'fundamentalist mormons' but these groups are not affiliated with my church. In fact, any person currently practicing polygamy cannot become or remain a member of our church. So in short, no polygamists here.

So - as I imagine some people might want to ask - how can I belong to and believe in a church that used to practice polygamy, even if it was a long time ago? It's a valid question and one I've even wondered myself. After some thought, the answer comes down to the fact that I faith that God commanded it and it was necessary and important at the time. Having faith doesn't mean having all the answers, it just means that I choose to believe despite questions that I can't answer.

Both the Bible and the Book of Mormon teach that marriage of one man to one woman is God's standard, except when God has commanded otherwise, as in the case of Abraham, Jacob, and some of the early Mormons. Somewhere between 25 and 50 percent of the Mormon population (including children) lived in polygamous households. All polygamous relationships had to be approved by church authorities. Women and men were free to choose whether to enter polygamous or monogamous relationships, or none at all. Those who practiced polygamy did so because they believed that they were following a commandment from God and obedience to His commandments would bring blessings. I don't know the particular reasons God asked His people to practice polygamy but the Book of Mormon identifies at least one explanation in Jacob 2:30, "to raise up seed unto [the Lord]" or to increase the number of children born into the gospel. Today, we honor the sacrifices made by these early saints but do not practice polygamy ourselves. If you are further interested in this topic I would recommend this in-depth article written by my church.

In a last interesting note, I am descended from polygamists on my dad's side. One of my ancestors, Edwin Rushton, had three wives married in 1842, 1857, and 1862. He had children with each of his wives for a total of 21 children, though many of them never survived past childhood. I am descended from the third wife. In 1887 he was prosecuted by the United States Government for polygamy and elected to serve a four month prison term rather than renounce his wives and children.

Mormon Questions: Joseph Smith

Almost all anti-mormon literature revolves around Joseph Smith. Some of it true and some of it not. So when people hear 'mormon,' Joseph Smith is often the first person to come to mind.

Hence this question: "Do you really believe Joseph Smith was a prophet?"

The answer is yes, I absolutely do!

In case you aren't sure who Joseph Smith is, I'll tell you! Joseph Smith was a 14 year old boy growing up New York in the early 1800s. He prayed in the woods to know which church to join and in turn learned more than he ever expected to know, I'm sure. God and Jesus Christ appeared to him then and told him that he should join no church because the gospel and the priesthood had been taken from the earth when the original apostles died. Joseph later received priesthood power, the Book of Mormon, and instructions from angels. He became the first prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I believe all that and more. I believe that Joseph was sincerely trying to follow God's directive. But I don't believe Joseph Smith was perfect and I don't believe he was more than a man (as in we don't worship Joseph Smith). Only Jesus was perfect and even then most people didn't believe He was the Son of God! They still criticized Him and pointed out perceived flaws.

Carter teaches Elder's Quorum (sunday school for men) and in his class someone brought up the good point that if all prophets were as well documented as Joseph was, they would likely all be controversial figures. Take Moses, for example. He intentionally killed a man! Or Jonas, who planned on forgetting the whole prophet business and moving far away where no one would know him.

The beautiful thing about Joseph Smith's story is how it all relates to our own. God uses imperfect people to do His work on this earth! Though we all are lacking (and He knows perfectly what we lack) we can all serve God in meaningful ways.

If you would like to know more about Joseph Smith and what we believe about him you can look at this website created by our church.

Good Reads: A Thousand Lives

Apparently, I'm really into depressing books because, like Matterhorn, this one doesn't have a happy page in it. Happy endings are all we humans look for, but in reality they are subtle and often elusive. This book depicts the not-so-happy but true ending for one thousand people, the inhabitants of Jonestown. 

If you are unfamiliar with the story, Jonestown was a colony in Guyana founded by Jim Jones for his congregation, The People's Temple. Jim Jones began as any pastor but over time he became a paranoid leader of a cult. His followers found themselves trapped in a colony thousands of miles away from the U.S. with no way out except suicide. One thousand people died in a mass murder/suicide by poisoned red Kool-aid. The book follows the progression of The People's Temple from its foundation to its demise.

Cult leader, Jim Jones with some children of the People's Temple.

After I finished this book, I couldn't stop thinking about it. You would think that the one thousand were unhinged death-cult members, just as CNN and the Times depicted. From reading the book I realized that most of the people were just average. I wondered, "How is it that such normal people from typical backgrounds could follow such an obviously deranged man to their deaths? Why didn't they leave? Seek help? Resist?" In the chilling words of one survivor: "No one sets out to joins a cult." The answer to my questions is also found A Thousand Lives. Each person ignored small, but telling warning signs. They continuously choose to justify little deviations from 'normal' and with each justification, they grew used to their new reality. Eventually they found themselves trapped. Their perception was too distorted for them to see the truth about the leader and their forthcoming death.

I think the experiences of the one thousand Jonestown inhabitants is a very striking analogy to sin and addiction. It begins with small choices and gentle justifications. I would say to all suffering from addiction and living in sin that your ending is still unwritten. You do not have to follow your choices to their bitter end. True change can always be found in Jesus Christ.

Anyway, I would highly recommend the book with the disclaimer that it contains some very disturbing material. It's the kind of disturbing event that gives great insight into human behavior and the human experience. For the same reason you find the holocaust interesting, though horrifying, you will enjoy this book.

Jim Jones was notoriously charming and taught with the fervor of a Baptist preacher.

The photo of the mass suicide that appeared on the cover of the Times. Many dead with a large vat of poisoned kool-aid.

Mormon Questions: Terminology

At our first LIVE Christmas nativity. They had all sorts of biblical animals,  elaborately dressed roman soldiers, and one very cute baby.

Mormons use a lot of religious jargon that other Christian denominations do not use. Have you ever wondered, 'what does that mean?' when talking to a Mormon? I can admit, it can all be very confusing. Like stake? As in steak? What? (Until I was ten or so, I really did think it was "steak" and I had no idea what anyone was ever talking about ever.) 

I present to you translations of Mormon speak:

Atonement: The sacrifice of Jesus Christ. It includes his suffering in the garden of Gethsemane and on the cross as well as His resurrection.

Bishop: unpaid spiritual leader of a ward, or congregation. Similar to a pastor. They are asked to serve in that position for approximately 5 years. They give advice, conduct interviews, and assign callings.

Ward: analogous to a congregation. Everyone is assigned to a ward based on the area they live.* Approximately 100-300 people make up a ward.

Stake: A group of neighboring wards (seven or so) are put into a stake. A city may have several stakes. "Stake" is a term that comes from the Old Testament (Isaiah 54:2). The tent or church is upheld by supporting stakes.

Calling: an unpaid assignment in the church. Almost everyone has a calling and they vary from "visit so-and-so every month to "teach Sunday School" to "plan activities for the ward four times a year." 

Priesthood:  The authority and power that God gives to man to act in the name of Jesus Christ in all things for the salvation of mankind. You need it for things to be legit in God's eyes i.e. baptism, eternal marriage, ect.

Agency: the ability God gives to people to choose and act for themselves in all areas of their life. Everyone is free to choose between good and evil.

Prophet: A man who God calls to speak for Him. The prophet receives commandments, revelations, prophets and authority from God. He also leads God's church. God had prophets in biblical times and still has them today.

Branch: a congregation too small to be called a ward. A branch has a branch president instead of a bishop.

Contention: argumentative atmosphere 

Non-member: someone who is not baptized into our church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) 

Talk: a 15-minute sermon given by various members of the ward. The bishop picks the topic and asks someone to speak from the pulpit on the subject 

Trial: Hard times that we believe God gave us to help us grow and to 'try' us

*Growing up, I was always a little perplexed about the idea of "picking" a church with a likable pastor.  I can see how that would be a big deal to people; I mean if you're going to go there every Sunday and give the pastor money you need to like the church, right? Well, in our church the clergy is called of God with His priesthood authority (and not even paid) and so you are expected to go to your geographically assigned ward and make the most of it. If you don't have any friends, you don't like the bishop, or there is a closer building nearby, the overall sentiment is mainly: "Deal with it." It can sometimes be hard, but as a disciple of Christ you're supposed to build up the people and the ward where you are.

So what do you think? Any other confusing words I should add the the list?

King Lamoni's Father

I was reading the Book of Mormon and thinking about how history is always told from the vantage of the author. Historians unintentionally write their own bias and culture into their work and I imagine the same is true of the many scripture authors. Carter and I have just finished the miraculous story of how Ammon and his brothers convert a nation of Lamanites to the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Lamanites are then called the people of Ammon before they dub themselves the Anti-Nephi-Lehi's (meaning 'for' or 'in support' of Nephi and Lehi). Alma was probably used to Lamanites being the 'bad guys' his whole life. After Ammon reported his success, it maybe didn't strike Alma to ask King Lamoni for his account. And so you read the story and can't help but feel that Ammon was the hero of the story. Not to say that Ammon wasn't heroic, but reading it through this time I realized more and more what true heroes King Lamoni and his father were. King Lamoni and his father must have known that they could be considered traitors for their new beliefs. When they took on the name Anti-Nephi-Lehi, they were renouncing 600 years of cultural Nephite-hatred. They perhaps expected to lose their thrones and their lives. In fact, many of the converted Lamanites did die because of heir belief. And yet, their unfailing faith led many of their people to Christ. They were amazing men of faith.

There is one particularly great moment when King Lamoni's father commands Lamoni to slay Ammon because Ammon is the descendant of Nephi, "a liar." Lamoni refuses, and Lamoni's father, in anger, tries to slay Lamoni. Ammon prevents Lamoni's death by holding Lamoni's father by the sword. King Lamoni's father then says

If thou wilt spare me I will grant unto thee whatsoever thou wilt ask, even to half of my kingdom.

Carter always laughs over that scripture, "So if Ammon had asked for 3/4 of his kingdom he would have said, 'Uh, no. Just slay me then.'?" But fast forward two chapters. Ammon teaches King Lamoni's father about the plan of salvation and King Lamoni's father says

What shall I do that I may have this eternal life of which thou hast spoken? Yea, what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive the Spirit, that I may be filled with joy, that I may not be cast off at the last day? Behold, said he, I will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy.

 Isn't that beautiful? King Lamoni's father is only willing to give up half of his kingdom for his life but his whole kingdom to be born again. He realizes that eternal life is more precious than anything in this world, even his life. Not only did he realize that, but he lived it! What a hero.

Mormon Questions: Special Underwear

Carter and I at a rock climbing gym due to some very kind relatives. And, yes, we are wearing garments :)

One of the reasons I really wanted to do this series was so that I could figure out the best explanations to give other people about what I believe. All the questions I'm going to address are ones I've personally been asked and most of them are also questions that I felt I answered inadequately. Instead of feeling like I had clearly and succinctly explained what I believed and why I believed it,  I often felt that I had rambled on incoherently, only confirming what they already thought: Mormons are weird.

The first time I was asked about "special underwear" I was totally taken aback. I had no idea what he was talking about! The questioner was an acquaintance during high school and he had a perfect understanding of everything Mormons believe because he had been to one of those anti-mormon classes his church held (sarcasm). He rambled on about it for several minutes before I put it all together. He was referring, of course, to temple garments.

You can make anything sound odd, if explained in an odd way, and it's the same with garments. So you've heard that we have holy underwear! And that we have to wear it at all times including sex and showers (Carter's gotten this one before). Oh and haven't you heard that garments are even bulletproof? Well, I'm sorry to say folks, that we are all not as exotic as your pastor would have you believe.

Like many religions, we too have outward symbols of our inward commitment to follow the Savior. Jews wear tassels (tzitzit), Catholics wear crosses, and Mormons wear garments. It is a personal reminder to live righteously. We believe that the garment is protective in that God protects and blesses us when we follow his commandments and keep our covenants. We wear our garments with devotion in connection to our devotion to Christ, meaning we wear our garments as much as possible, though not all the time (as in, not during sex, swimming, exercising, and showering!!!).

If you want a more in-depth examination of temple garments, I would look at this article.

Don't you think this is just the weirdest question? Where do people get this stuff?

Hermana Landon

Hermana Landon with the Villarruels and miscellaneous missionaries.

Missionary letters are great and all, but do you ever feel like it's hard to follow all the simultaneous story lines? I'm always wondering "What happened to so-and-so?" and "Who is that person again?" When I clawed (clawed? what the...) through all of Alexa's past emails for the Best of Hermana Landon, I started piecing the puzzle together.  From her emails (copied and pasted - all errors are her's), I give you the inspiring story of the Villarruels family.

I'm so thankful for this opportunity to serve and run every morning at presidents orders (Ed. note: All the missionaries are required to run for thirty minutes in the morning for exercise). He's promised us a better mission if we do the things he asks. I'm learning exact obedience even in the things we think don't matter is important.
Commandments and "rules" are just an opportunity to to receive blessings.

Weeks later...

We found this one family by Gods wonderful had one morning while running. We always change our route for safety and one morning I had no Idea where i wanted to run so we picked a random turn and sister Eastman had a thought to go talk to a man I barely noticed raking the patch of grass/sidewalk <-- ! in front of his yard. Haha it was so funny but, we ran back and half out of breath told him we were missionaries and asked if we could come talk with him another time. And you guessed it(good job).... He (Antonio)said yes! We came back that Saturday he told us he'd be home and they fed us and we only had time to do that and get to know them a bit. We brought his wife flowers from a church mothers-day activity they couldn't make it to and kept trying to catch them at a good time to teach but it wasn't happening.
We decided we were gonna show up at their house yesterday and try and get a ride with them to a "Why I Believe?" talk president was giving at the Visitors Center behind the temple. Antonio and his wife came! and afterwards met the bishop and a awesome family from the ward and president talked to them and told them to go to church and take the sacrament - because it's the most important thing - and other wonderful things. Antonio and his wife were telling everyone they think of us as their children since they don't have any and they adore us. Antonio told us that the morning we found him he usually goes to work at 6 but that morning they told him hi didn't have to come in until 8 for some reason so he decided to do some yard-work. He recognized it was not a coincidence that we met him which is what I told him that morning without knowing that story. I love them so much Bishop kept telling me they are gonna get baptized quick. I completely planing on going back after the mission to come to their sealing! 

Several weeks later...

We've also been trying for forever and have been working so hard to get the Villarruels to come to church but Antonio just wouldn't and especially after that last time he told me to stop asking him that made me kinda mad. I was really frustrated wondering how can we get him to come if he says he wants to but He doesn't know when and even president baker had told him a bit more than a month ago to go to church and take the sacrament. WHY wont he just come we invite and he really is sincere that he want's to come to see how the church is but he doesn't know when?!...... I just kept praying for patience and that they would come. AND THEN!
Sunday they came!!! I texted them in the morning to invite them to FHE monday and wish them a good week but they never replied. So I sat still in church - my companion asking me if they said they were coming --  just Praying they would come at least for the next week. And in the middle of the hymn in they walked.
I couldn't hold my emotions so I sat there so happy - tears running down my face - that now he had decided he would come with his wife and feel the spirit.
I could only think in little more than a year they will have a full opportunity to be sealed in the temple and know the true joy the gospel brings!
He told us he didn't know church was 3 hours so next Sunday he would make more time to come. I'm so happy they're progressing!

The next week...

The Villaruels came for all of church and really loved it. Antonio talked with bishop and told him he feels like he's finally found peace! We're working really hard at getting them friends so that when we get transferred or change they wont be sad. They are so excited to learn! But Antonio is still super resistant to making commitments. He just wants to do it on his own and not because we tell him to. I tried to explain it's not what we're asking it's what God is asking and setting Goals (like a baptismal date) helps us to work towards something. I'm pretty sure he understands. He basically just wants to surprise everyone with his own accomplishments. He did commit to stop drinking!

A couple of weeks after that...

So this last week we set a baptismal date with the Villarruel! Oh my goodness I was so happy. When we went to their house last night with a family from the ward Antonio said he would commit to baptism, They really want to be and they've made their decision, but he wants to go to a baptism first, to be able to feel more comfortable at their own. Bummer they are only ever on sundays! But during the lesson I got a really calming feeling that everything will be just great. So they will be baptized in 2 weeks hopefully.
I love them so much my heart is filled with the most joy I have ever felt when I am with them teaching and especially during our last lesson. I couldn't hold back my smile! I Just want to tell everyone how wonderful they are and how much they've changed! It's a miracle of God. This is his work and he loves his children so much he has given us everything we need to return to live again with him and our families through the true and full gospel of Jesus Christ. 

A couple weeks and a transfer later...

Just got moved out of my first area for the first time! It was so hard but the lord is blessing us in this new area! it's really wonderful, I wish you all could know. We've Had a huge miracle everyday! I've been a little sick lately but sister Zollinger has been so understanding. She's a doll. Super awesome missionary from north Dakota! We're getting baptisms left and right here! It's going so good! I was able to go to the Villarruel's baptism last Sunday in my last zone. It was so great! They were so cute and happy! I'll send pictures next week. Well in one year from August 25th I plan on coming back to go through the temple and see them be sealed!!! 

Missing This Cute Girl

sooo revealing of our personalities. Amanda, you're the boring angel

Alexa has been serving a spanish-speaking mission in the California Los Angeles Mission for the past 10 months. I can't say how proud I am of her! Missions are hard work and require a lot of sacrifice, so we are all very impressed. I 've loved seeing her mature through her letters. So that you all can see it too, I've collected the Best of Hermana Landon:

Oh hello sillies!!! Tell me about what's going on with work and school? did you draw any cool pictures at work Dad? Did mom buy any more pictures? haha my hermanas in mi distrito always threaten to send mom pictures of what I eat whenever I eat jello or a cookie. I tell them mom would never send me cookies or sweets in a package. She would send me an empty box! They think Mom is so funny from what I say! Everyone loves me? well everyone loves mom! (Ed. note: Everyone loves mom - slogan of my high school career)

Funny story about me. it was like Dumb and Dumber and the christmas story when i tried to eat a orange dream bar the other week. I had heard the ice cream bars can get so cold your tounge will freeze but I had thought my tounge wouldn't be a victim. So I went for a great big lick and BOOM! I was stuck.....Forever! I began to panic and tried to remove my tounge and notify my companion, but all of the elders in our district we sit by saw me and started laughing. I was laughing so hard/ crying wondering why I had been so prideful and dumb. I drooled and counldn't focus on getting un stuck. Everyone was shoving juice and milk for me to pour over my tounge but it would have spilled all over me! I finally pulled it off. My tounge was frozen for a long time after. 

 I get what people mean when they say they're not sure what language they were taught in the MTC, but it wasn't the mission language. It's hard to figure out what the latinos are saying, I understand a lot of words, it just goes by so quickly I don't get main point of what they said. Sister Curtis is SUPER helpful in teaching me. She will only speak to me in Spanish and if I don't understand she is so willing to repeat until I do. Yesterday I told her most of the time I only get half of what she says. So this morning in spanish she said to me "Are you going to keep pretending you know what I am saying" and of course I responded with a "yes" to what I didn't understand. She puts a lot of responsibility on me, but always bails me out when I need it. 

I Know God leads us to everyone in our path. We hand out copies of the Book Of Mormon like candy out here. If it starts out in the wrong hands it will end up in the right ones sooner or later.

An elder shared with me a poem about missionary life and it was hilarious how true it was. It said something about being on a mission you really do feel the happiest and the saddest, you've never before met so many crazy people and so many wonderful people. You never feel so forsaken and never so loved and comforted. You've never worked so hard and still felt like you've been lazy. You've never wanted to go home so bad and wanted to stay more than ever.
My comp and I were laughing about how every RM tells the best stories about miracles and awesome things that happen and make it sound like they happen all the time, but in reality they don't. It's hard every day our numbers sometimes show 0 success, so why am I so happy? Why do we feel so accomplished? For some reason- by the mercies of Heavenly Father- it's always worth it. At the end of the day we didn't get any lessons, I feel so worn out, but I think about all the people we talked to and how happy I felt with them and my companions.

We almost have 5 missionaries from our Spanish ward! That's so many! we hear things about there being about there being 50,000 then it's 60,000 and then 70,000! This must be the work of God or half of the things we do and half the work we put in would never turn out well or work. Everyday is a testimony to me. If this wasn't the true work of God I wouldn't be here anymore. This is way too hard to be a fun volunteer summer experience. I can't understand why I am so happy when I am so tired everyday and the night goes by way to quickly.
These people are worth it. I love every one of them!

I've been struggling in the work and fighting to be the consecrated missionary I want to be. It's been hard talking to people and loosing them. Sometimes I feel like I'm at my end. Like nothing I do will help anyone. But the atonement is real. Christ suffered alone. But I am not alone. He carries me every time I feel so bad. And He's always with me any other time. He loves me and I love him. That's why I'm still here working. Salvation is personal. But everyone needs it.

I have felt like the lord has bless me with the opportunity to help a lot of people be baptized, and with all the love I can feel, just lift my heart! but Now I feel I am at a point where I don't need that to feel happy. I am seeing myself change and become more like Christ. I am seeing my desires change. I am seeing sharing the gospel in even a more different way. A better way. The best way. There is no greater blessing than to use your whole heart everyday to help people understand clearly the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, and if they choose, accept it. We can do it on missions, we can do it as parents, we can do it with our friends/neighbors.

We gave a church tour to a man who said he wanted to learn more about the book of mormon and what it is...He understood he felt that it was truth and said he would pray to ask God if it was true. That was one of the first times especially that I felt I taught so simply they understood right away what we meant and the spirit confirmed the truth so strongly. it all rests on clarity and simplicity and telling them the pure truth so they can make the ful decision on their own to find out for themselves.

I have continually moved forward through my mission. I have given up all I was before to be new and better and more like christ. I has been such a challenge that I would never before have overcome or even began but My father has helped me. He is always there for me. He has always loved me.  

Mormon Questions: Young Married Mormons

Carter and I in front of the Salt Lake Temple a month before we were married there.

A while ago I read this post called How to Train A Mormon and I haven't been able to get the topic out of my head since. In the post, the author explains that when she was young and naive she expected people outside of Utah to ask questions about her "glowing light" and why she was so happy. Instead, she was surprised to face questions more like, "Why don't you drink coffee?" and "Why do you wait to have sex until marriage?" In the article, the author goes on to talk about obedience and why mormons aren't weird and yada yada.

The article got me thinking though, what questions am I asked about Mormonism and how do I answer?  So I'm making this into a series of posts titled: Mormon Questions. I'm hoping there is a little of something for everyone. If you've ever been asked an unexpected question about Mormonism and answered well, or even not-so-well, then please share your experiences! If you are a Mormon but you've never lived in an area where Mormons are a novelty, then maybe you've never encountered such questions before. However, chances are you will someday! If you are not a Mormon but have unanswered question about what exactly Mormons believe, then maybe I'll be able to answer a few.

So, no. 1 on the list is : "Why do Mormons get married so young?"

I'm not sure if it's because I am recently married (10 months) or what but, surprisingly, this THE most-asked question by my friends and random strangers.

The answer is that there are likely many reasons why, but my favorite reason is because we believe that family is most important in this life. To us, families are a priority, and, consequently, there is no reason (including career goals) to put off having one. I usually throw in there that it isn't a church policy; no one is dictating that we get married and have babies before 25. Sometimes I even joke(dryly) about BYU: "When you throw a bunch of 20-something kids together all thinking about marriage, some of them are bound to go through with it."

I think most people think marrying so young is naive. I was married fairly young, and likely naively, but, like most Christians, we believe that God helps two imperfect people come together to have a perfect marriage.

My least favorite answer to this question is: "Because we don't believe in sex before marriage." It makes all Mormons sound like sex-deprived zombies. Sure, it's true that we believe in abstinence before marriage, but no sane individual gets married just for sex. It may be a component of a desire for marriage but more like a top 100 reason and not a top 5. So maybe don't include this in a conversation about Mormons. PLEASE.

So what do you guys think? Really, truly, I'm very interested to see how you answer this question!

Everyone needs to sign this petition NOW

I mean, only if you care about the future of your children and country. Require Porn to be an "Opt In" feature with Internet Service Providers rather than a standard feature. Sign here please.

From the petitioners:

In its current state, Internet porn seeks out users by email solicitations and massive amounts of free content throughout Internet browser searches. The average person, even children, can type in the word "cat" or "home" or "soup" and instantly be inundated with offensive and disturbing pornographic images. Parents and individuals have to go to great lengths to install Internet filters that often don't weed out all porn. We are asking for greater protection and responsibility from Internet Service providers and our country. We are asking that people who are interested in porn should have to seek it and choose it. They should have to "Opt In" for it by making arrangements to receive it with their Internet Service Provider. Everyone else should be free from it and assumed "Opt Out".

Be like Britain! Sign this petition!(see what I did there?)

This Is Happening

Carter's sister-in-law has a great blog, This Is Happening, that I happen to adore for her intelligent musings. I'm sharing a post from her lovely blog that I LOVED for its insight into a confusing biblical topic:

The Serious Voice 

My baby is pretty little. He's too little to really be able to do anything to make me very angry, and certainly not intentionally. Sometimes I find that I have to gently punish him, but without fail it's because he did something either hurtful or dangerous, to him or me or others, and I need to teach him not to do it again. In fact, when I have to punish him, I'm usually so NOT angry that I have to fake this "serious voice," and I feel like I sound really silly, but I want him, in all his littleness, to understand how serious I am.

I was reading the scriptures this afternoon, and the Lord was making some pretty severe threats. The Jehovah we see in the Old Testament seems to be pretty severe, and there are other places in the scriptures that His words seem to take a very serious tone. Sometimes I have wondered how these threats and punishments can possibly come from the God we know, who we know to be kind and loving and merciful and tender.

But then, remembering grabbing Eli away from the kitchen garbage for the umpteenth time this morning, I realized. It's entirely possible that when the Lord says something like this: "In my fierce anger will I visit them in their iniquities and abominations... It shall come to pass that this generation, because of their iniquities, shall be brought into bondage, and shall be smitten on the cheek; yea, and shall be driven by men, and shall be slain; and the vultures of the air, and the dogs, yea, and the wild beasts, shall devour their flesh," he's not being vengeful. Actually, to me, it's more than possible, it's what I believe to be true. Because God is perfect, and even though I do sometimes get mad at Eli unnecessarily, God would not, and does not. God does not take things personally, and God does not like to punish his children. His threats aren't just-give-me-a-reason-to-do-it threats. This is the serious voice.

And here's the serious voice again: "Therefore I command you to repent--repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore--how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not." That's less a threat than a plea. From a Father who wants his children, even though they're very little and may not really understand everything he tells them, to understand the gravity of the situation and learn not to disobey.

Love and chastening, justice and mercy. The older I get, the less they seem like opposites and the more they seem like twins.

C. S. Lovely

On the book list: Mere Christianity

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. That is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of [an] army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of the wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives into temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because he was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means” (Mere Christianity, 126)

Isn't that interesting?

A Saturday Stroll

So we have Sabbath on Saturday. I know...it throws my whole week off. In writing this blog I had to correct my use of Sunday three times. In any case, what I meant to say is Saturday is our Sabbath but after a whole week of classes no one wants to stay in the center all day, so we usually take a little Saturday stroll to one of my two favorite places. Plus the no-lunch-on-Sabbath policy is a little extra incentive to get out and forget my ravenous stomach. Saturdays are hard for me guys.

Number one is...the garden tomb! Though this might not be anywhere near where gur Good Lord was buried it's just such a beautiful spot to sit and think about the Atonement and Resurrection.

"He is not here for he is risen" - written on the door of the tomb.

Sometimes it's good to switch it up though so my other fav haunt is the Garden of Gethsemane. The actual garden is all fenced off and tourist-y and there is this huge church right in the middle of it. Lucky for us right across the street there is a smaller gated garden perfect for small groups trying to avoid tourists.

People sometimes put prayers into the olive trees. This isn't the Western Wall, people.

So recap: Garden Tomb or Garden of Gethsemane ere' Sabbath. NBD.

Keine Hose Zeit

For your viewing pleasure, a collage:

My Sabbath was excellent, as always. There is just no beating a whole day dedicated to God. Beyond the spiritual uplifting Sunday is extra good because I never have to wear pants. And as I always say, the best time is no pants time.

PS I made those bracelets. Suggestions/comments are welcome.

I Might Be Slightly Ridiculous

These are the eggs I decorated for Easter.

There are no explanations for this. Easter is not about freak bunnies laying eggs or candy or new pastel dresses. Easter is about remembering the Saviour and Redeemer of the world. Over two thousand years ago Christ suffered and died for all of God's children. Three days later he rose from the grave and conquered death. He lives! With his sacrifice and triumph all mankind can be resurrected, repent, and come unto the Father. It's really such a beautiful holiday, more so than a silly egg can display.

Side note: turns out I have no care for posting on time.

The Best Two Years

I am actually stealing this post from Caitlin's blog From Russia, With Love because I adore this man and letter so much.

"So it´s been a good 3 months here in the favela. It´s been hilarious. My life here is incredibly similar to an 80´s kung fu movie I watched one time that takes place in new york city. Everyone wearing hammer pants, a relatively self-sufficient economy that is built off of small personal markets and foreigners, and best of all, a lack of police. We had been hearing that police are stationed here, but we had never seen them, but the other day we found them hanging out in the back corner where there are no more houses and no confusion... well done police. Oh, and when the police do show up in kung fu movies they always do really theatricle stuff like spin their guns on their fingers, point uzi´s at people, and of course slap everyone in the face they talk to. That happens here too. The other day, some kids were on the side of the street and the police drove up and just slapped one of them in the face and then searched them all and then left. Confusing, but to me, funny.

One of the kids here I know went on his mission this week. That was pretty cool, except for the fact that he left thursday and his mom literally only stopped crying when she went to sleep between thursday and sunday. Then, probably because of exhaustion, she fainted in church. We ate lunch at her house friday and saturday (woo-hoo, free food) and her mind is full of all of these crazy ideas that the mission is hard and her child will be starving and blah blah blah. So to be sure that my mom is not being rediculous and doing the same thing, lets clear some things up about being a missionary here.

Being a missionary is like summer camp. You get to go do cool activities and stuff like that all the time, and you never worry about money. Everyone loves to feed you, and if you try, you can develope diabetes and get kidney stones and die from obesity all within the 2 years. People try to give you tons of stuff, ask you to take a nap on their couch, tell you they like you more than their own kids, and then cut your hair for free. Then on top of all of that cool stuff, they praise you for all the hard work you do and give you a ride in their car to your next appointment. Even the people that aren´t members of your church. Everyone loves you. And nothing bad ever happens to you. Ever.

So yeah, moral of the story is: crying over missionaries is retarded. They are all having way more fun than everyone else, and everyone should be a missionary because it is the life.

beyond that, all the kids here started calling me frankenstien. I thought that rachael would think that is funny. I am not really sure why they started though. One day they started calling my comp santa clause cause he is fat, and then they were like ``what is your nickname...?´´ Usually everyone is just like ``HEY, GERMAN. COME OVER HERE.´´ so I thought they would settle on german, but no, they chose frankenstien. and thus the name lives on...

Other than that it was a normal week. Taught some people the message of the restoration of the gospel, some accepted the message and the challenge to test and try our words with God, and we´ll pass by their house this week to either hear why they didn´t end up trying to even pray, or why reading the book of mormon and praying about it was the greatest thing that has ever happened to them. It is that easy. I find it interesting when some people will say stuff like ``HOLY COW, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!´´ and explain how our church is the only church that is literally guided by God, and their disbelief that more people don´t get why this is important.

One kid was like ``I prayed for God to show me an answer about the book and in that same moment something indescribable joyful and amazing happened in my heart and I knew it was true. Almost like I was getting filled up like a balloon, but in a really good way. So I went to tell my aunt what happened and she told me she wasn´t that interested in listening to you guys, and my mom and my family said the same thing. I just don´t get why they either don´t beleive me, or why they don´t think God is important.´´ And we just had to tell him that he needs to be patient with them and encourage them to try for themselves. But really my answer is I don´t get it either. It is a fact that anyone who seeks a response will find it, but sadly it is also a fact that the greater population of planet earth seem to be comfortable enough for now. They would rather search for happiness through something else that is temporary and then be confused when they feel that they lack something.

I think sometimes people don´t realize how real all of this stuff is. Why would I waste 2 years of my life telling you about a saviour of the world if his power wasn´t something you can percieve? I get so frustrated when people are satisfied thinking about Christ as some mythical and mysterious character that uses us like chess pieces and plays around with our lives. And I don´t understand how people can pass almost 100 years of their life here on earth being totally uncertain about why they are here and thinking that ``the purpose of life´´ is a profound question to which no one has the answer. It´s sad to me because everything is so simple and the knowledge of the truth can change so much about how good you feel and why you choose the decisions you choose.

So for those who still don´t know, here is a basic explanation of life.

We are here on the earth so that we can be happy forever, but because we are all retarded, we each lost the ability to be 100% happy on our own. One person came here and mended up all the holes we´ll ever make because of our own folly, and then rewrote the rules to be a million times more easy and simple to understand. His name is Jesus Christ, and he ACTUALLY exists. You can be 100% certain of this through divine communication (not meaning hocus pocus smoke and mirrors crap, but a real certainty) and a SUPER easy way to be certain is to go find a mormon missionary and try out what he asks you to do. It something you can do without commitment. If you recieve certainty, woohoo. If not, I am a liar. So go figure it out. I dare you.

I love everyone and specifically to mom, don´t ever cry because it is stupid. k... bye."

Post-Christmas Post!

I meant to post this for Christmas but I will spare you all the usual excuses and just say that it never happened. But better late than never!

This painting is usually hung right in between the family room and the kitchen so it is visible from most areas of our home but currently it is stuck right behind a great big fake Christmas tree. Part of that last statement bothers me because it suggests we value commercialized Christmas over the real reason for the season but whatever. Not the point.

If you closely at this painting there is really nothing to indicate to this is the virgin Mary holding baby Jesus other than her garb. This is a painting about a loving mother, peaceful and content, just holding her child. Sometimes this painting reminds me that Mary was a real person, not the halo'd saint we often see her depicted as. She very much felt the same emotions you or I do.

This season I went to see Savior of the World, a pageant about the birth and resurrection of Christ. The pageant gave me a really interesting perspective on Mary and Joseph. The actors portrayed the worry, doubt, fear, and incredible faith that I often fail to identify from the biblical account. Even now just thinking about serving a mission, a relatively normal experience, I feel incredibly anxious and fearful. Just imagine having to give birth and raise the son of God, the Savior of the World! What a remarkable woman.