6 Weeks

I took these photos at 6 weeks, just before we blessed Noah at church. It was beautiful and I cried. We named Noah with the biblical prophet in mind and Carter blessed our little boy that, though he would encounter opposition, especially in his religion, he would be blessed with the strength and determination to follow God's will. It was the best blessing I've ever heard.

I'm obsessed with his tiny fingers and toes! They're a bit of a trick to photograph though, because they are constantly moving. At 6 weeks Noah started to smile and coo. I can't even tell you what a godsend a baby smile is to a tired momma. Oh the validation!

Noah Carter Davis

Noah was, miraculously, born on his due date, October 18th. Only 1% of babies are actually born on their due dates, hence the miracle. I first felt cramping the night before at 8 pm, after my mucous plug fell out. They were mild, consistent cramps so faint I wasn't sure if I was imagining them. The cramps grew a little stronger over the next hour and a lightbulb went off in my head. This was it! In our true last-minute fashion, Carter went to install the carseat and we realized the car seat we had was all wrong for a newborn. So we purchased an infant carseat from Target the hour before it closed and then after installing it, debated for way too long whether we should climb Y mountain to see it lit up for homecoming (my last chance). In the end, I decided if I had to eject a baby in the next few hours then I should avoid strenuous hikes.

Awaiting the inevitable. At this point I'm thinking, "There is only one way this baby can come out..."

So off to bed we went, though I laid wide awake from both the contractions - which, by this point, were too strong for me to sleep through - and the excitement. I spent an hour googling "when to go to the hospital in labor" before I dragged Carter out of bed. We headed to the hospital where I sheepishly told the nurses, "I think I'm in labor?" They monitored me from 2 am to 3 am and then kindly told me to go home and not come back until I was really in labor. Disappointing. I, however, knew this was the real deal so we made a plan to eat bacon and omelets at Magleby's when they opened at 7 am and then come back.

I spent the next few hours perusing Facebook and Pinterest to distract from the increasing contractions and then, when that wasn't enough, I tried to imagine my cervix opening up and my baby moving down the birth canal. It helped, at least until the pain became too much for even that. A contraction would hit and all I could do was double over and wait for it to pass. At 7 am Carter woke up to intervalled moaning and he insisted we go to the hospital immediately. I agreed that we would go to the hospital and not leave at least until I received some kind of narcotic - preferably, a really strong narcotic. I self-diagnosed at 7 on the pain chart.

This time I shuffled into the maternity ward very slowly and huffed at every nurse that would listen that I was in labor. Although my water still hadn't broken, they admitted me at 8 am because I was dilated to 6 cm and progressing. I repeatedly asked for an epidural but FYI ladies, the process takes about an hour before the anesthesiologist can even get to putting the epidural in. So keep that in mind. Finally, the very nice doctor started the epidural and the heavens parted and angels sang hallelujah choruses and all was right in the world again. The greatness of epidurals cannot be overstated.

After the epidural, everything progressed quickly. They broke my water and in an hour I was dilated to 9 cm. Another half hour and I was fully dilated at 10 cm. At this point I was in shock so when they suggested I wait at 10 cm for an hour before pushing to let the baby descend down the birth canal, I readily agreed. I imagine if I hadn't had an epidural, Noah would have been born two hours earlier. When the nurses decided it was time to push, I pushed for ten minutes in 3 segments and then waited another 10 minutes for the doctor to get off her lunch break. She took her sweet time and then blocked my view of my birthing mirror, so I'm now wondering how necessary her presence was. In any case, twenty minutes after I started pushing, Noah was born and then my memory gets hazy. I remember wondering if something was wrong because I couldn't hear any crying and the doctor asking me questions about holding the baby or washing and weighing him first and then holding a little bundle on my chest and thinking the whole situation was too surreal. He didn't feel like my baby. I spent several minutes craning my neck to get another look at him because I kept forgetting what he looked like. Carter held Noah and I could tell that he felt something for Noah that I didn't feel. A belonging or ownership, I guess. I think it took me several weeks to get to that point. There were many moments where I felt like I was caring for someone else's baby and I would have just preferred if they would have taken him back. Cognitively, I knew that having a baby would be worth it (mostly because I need someone to take care of me and spend time with me when I get old) but emotionally I didn't feel it. I know many people feel bonded to their baby immediately, but I also think many other people have experiences like mine.

Now, of course, I feel very bonded to Noah. I enjoy the connection I have always heard other mothers talk about and I very much feel as though every moment is worth it. I feel grateful for Noah's physical health and inquisitive little spirit.

Carter: "Are you OK? You just had a baby!" Me: "What are you standing there for??? TAKE PICTURES."

7 lbs 3 oz and 21 inches, just like his mama!

A first hold.

A second first hold.

Awe, adoration, love and surprise.

A new face.

Conehead

So so beautiful.

Baby Love

My little sister, Alexa, truly is a godsend to my money-poor, photography-loving self. She has a natural talent  that cannot be denied and that I will wake up at 5 a.m. to sneak into an orchard and take pictures. Bless her talented heart.

These were all taken on a nice DSLR camera and then edited on my phone because I'm swag like that. Or because Photoshop is now a subscription service that I can't/won't pay for. Can anyone recommend a good, intuitive editing app for Mac?

Life Update

We're pregnant! And by we, I mean me, although we've never really tried to get Carter pregnant. But that's another story for another day on Medical Mysteries. If truth be told, we weren't even trying in particular to get me pregnant but we are still so very happy about it! I'm even a little relieved. It's about time someone (God, the Fates, Karma, Carter's sperm, ect.) made some life-altering choices for me.

We'll be full-fledged parents around October 18th. I'm thirteen weeks along yesterday though I've only been growing this little human for about 11 or so weeks. Who knew that they date your baby from your last period? I guess that's when the follicle started maturing? #biologymajorproblems

In other news Carter is a smarty pants and scored an internship with the New York Federal Reserve this summer. So we'll be packing up and shipping out in June. I'm going to call it my doing-nothing-in-NYC vacation. I look forward to it as the last vacation where all I worry about is me. In the fall we'll return to Provo so I can push a baby out of my uterus and Carter can finish his last year at BYU. After that Carter has the option of returning to Manhattan to work for the New York Federal Reserve for two years or going to a graduate school.

Is it extremely lame of me that I don't want to live in New York, NY? I guess it all comes down to priorities and right now my priorities revolve around Caribbean vacations and home-ownership and backyards, all of which are not helped by living in New York on a pittance government salary. And if Carter takes the job and then goes to grad school we'll have an EIGHT-year-old by the time he actually graduates!

But if Carter goes straight to grad school in an affordable location, we might be able to buy a house/condo right now. And raise all our children in nice neighborhoods where they can walk themselves to school and play in playgrounds without rat infestations and enjoy water blobs in their own backyard. I mean. NYC is not the most kid-friendly.

The main argument for the NYC job is that Carter will have a regular 9-5 job and will be able to spend copious amount of time with our baby. So that's a plus.

So what would you do? Do you love NYC and think it's a great place for kids?