Happy Chinese New Year!

Last night we celebrated the new year of the dragon at FHE with Chinese music videos, firecrackers, and fortune cookies. Fitting, I say. Unfortunately, the fortune cookies this year were a little disappointing. Lemme tell ya, if I made fortune cookies they would have Chinese proverbs like this:

Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

Man with one chopstick go hungry. (true)

And then I would probably throw in a few of my Mom's 'proverbs'.

Never make more money than your husband.

Don't marry a doctor. They can cheat on you.

Close off your heart.

In any case, here are my 2011 Resolutions in review...

1. Write in my (non-existent) journal at least once a week. I probably should call this a failure because this soooo did not happen but I did write in my journal more than once this year (past patterns). SUCCESS. Also, I blog. Le duh.

2. STOP BUYING SHOES. 2010 alone involved 7 new pairs. Yeah.....so this year it was only 3 pairs. Progress is progress.
3. Read scriptures in the morning. Yes, I too am a victim of late-night sleepiness. Not usually a huge problem except when my spiritual cup still needs filling. One of these days I'll wrestle myself out of bed BEFORE class starts. I've decided this doesn't actually matter as much to me as I thought it did. Late-night reading here I come.
4. Read. Not romantic fiction, not science fiction, not any fiction. Since high school I've turned into quite the binge reader. If I do read, it's mounds of crap literature that I can just tell is turning my arteries to lard. In honor of Jerusalem, I am reforming my ways and turning to non-fiction literature on middle eastern culture and conflict. Big fat CHECK.
5. Delete my facebook...eventually. Don't get me wrong, it's been real. I'll never forget vague status updates, countless hours spent stalking, or my fair share of made-possible-by-fb dates. To the best wingman ever: cheers! I'll miss ya! Also checked...then I realized I have no way to stalk people. Obvious problem.

...and my new 2012 Chinese New Years Resolutions:

1. Sprint triathlon this summer. Here I come baby.
2. No buying things outside of the need category. Ambitious, I know. So I might have failed miserably at no shoes in 2011, but what else can you do when faced with failure except make loftier goals? The trick to lofty goal achieving is making exceptions. That way you can still fail but also win. And, as it were, nail polish is always my exception.
3. Learn a new skill (I'm still working out the details on this one).

Awkward is the New Cool

My semester is fantastic. I'm totally on top of (almost) every class, my living situation is fabulous (hello, two minutes from campus), I see at least three Jerusalem friends everyday, my outside-of-Jerusalem social life is picking up, I got through the Provo temple in a record-breaking hour this week, scripture study and prayer have been really satisfying lately, and my arms are sore from swimming. Life is soooooo good and that is an understatement. Really people, I am convinced if everyone lived the quality of life I do Israel would tear down the separation wall, Iran would dismantle their nuclear program, and we would all ride unicorns under rainbows sucking on lollipops. My Miss America crown should be arriving in the mail any day now. I know you watched that pageant so don't you dare tell me I wouldn't win with that platform. Like, please. If Miss Wisconsin can win on a platform based off of her father's incarceration then I can definitely win off a platform based on unicorns.

I don't know that I have anything in particular to say, other than male infertility is a huge problem in Mali. But you already knew that. I could offer an entertaining story? Cassie and I were lovingly picking out eggs for the week in the grocery store as three boys from our new ward passed us. And naturally I was friendly, "Oh hey guys! Fun times grocery shopping? Awesome." which was met with blank faces and mumbling. Being the oblivious person I am, I totally did not realize they had no clue who we were and they definitely thought strangers were hitting on them in the grocery store. Cassie tried to save the day by yelling out, "We're from your ward!" a tad too late though one of the boys apparently heard. Imma interject here with some outrage. I KNOW one of those boys helped us move in and we met the other two at our ward party. So who do they think they are, going about and not remembering us?? We're memorable people, alright? Later one of the boys tried to ameliorate the situation by confirming our new-ness in the ward and then conversing with us. Of course I then made the situation worse by interjecting awkward one liners in inappropriate places of the conversation, " Jerusalem reunions are so great, we just like to touch each other." Don't worry, my social standing in that ward isn't totally shot...yet. I've heard that awkward is the new cool. Oh you've heard that too? Cool - I mean awkward.

I Love to Love!

I think I have an incredible ability to love. Like the love I have for my beautiful new Country Dance TA? Incredible. This, however, gets to be a significant problem especially when faced with life decisions. Exhibit A: a list of BYU majors I wish I had.

Acting

Arabic Language

Bioinformatics

Economics

English

Exercise Science

Food Science

Geography

Graphic Design

Industrial Design

International Relations

Korean

Landscape Management

Mathematics

Media Art Studies

Microbiology

Middle East Studies

Music Dance Theatre

Nursing

Nutritional Science

Photography

Special Education

Theatre Arts Studies

...these can all be hobbies, right???

Mitt is So Mormon...

I've found a new favorite kind of joke and it's of the Mitt Romney flavor. Probably, you'all have heard of these but I find them delicious. From Religious Dispatches:

Earlier this week, Florida evangelical Christian leader John Stemberger endorsed Rick Perry’s campaign for GOP presidential nominee. According to Stemberger, Perry was more “trustworthy” on social conservation issues like abortion rights. On Romney, Stemberger said: “The issue not that he is a Mormon. The issue is that he wasn’t Mormon enough.”

Apparently Stemberger's comment begun a string of 'Mitt is so Mormon' jokes on twitter @askmormongirl that I find hilarious. My favs?

Mitt is so Mormon he’s related to the other Mormon presidential candidate and half of his own campaign volunteers as well.

Mitt is so Mormon that his campaign “oppo” team has done all the other candidates’ genealogy.

Mitt is so Mormon he’s organizing his precinct walkers in pairs to knock doors with a very special message.

Mitt Romney is so Mormon that he’s afraid to join the Tea Party because of Doctrine & Covenants 89.

Mitt is so Mormon he’d ask the Elders Quorum to move him into the White House.

Mitt is so Mormon, he has four cats named 1 Nephi, 2 Nephi, 3 Nephi and 4 Nephi. (4 Nephi is the small one.)

So in case you didn't catch that: Mitt is sooooo Mormon.