THIS IS MY WEDDING DAY

If we're in the spirit of regrets and disappointments here then I could probably tell you that I wish I hadn't taken my mom's advice and that I had styled my own hair. I wish I would have ordered my dress in white so I could find some GLAMOROUS elbow-length gloves that would match. Annnnd if I'm being really honest than the venues and catering were also a bit much (did I say that???). But tell me, what's a wedding without a Bridezilla? really, tell me. is it nice?

In a different spirit (apparently a spirit of cliches), my wedding was also perfect, because I got married. As it turns out, weddings are not about flowers and cakes and perfect get-aways with sparklers. BREAKING NEWS. Despite my week of non-stop breakdowns, I floated on cloud nine all day. I was untouchable and it was magic.

In other breaking news, marriage is actually really great and not horrible and life-ruining. So that's been nice for me.

P.S. I usually retro-date my posts because the pressure of posting on time is oppressive, but I've always wondered how that works out with blogger. Do you see my posts come up in your feed on June 26th 2013 or December 15th 2012? Help a blogger out, will ya?

Carter and Whitney: An Engagement Story

In case I forgot to mention it, Carter and I were engaged. It preceded us getting married if you are confused about the timeline of my blog. I am fundamentally against time-constraints on the basis that we are eternal beings. Time is totally irrelevant. I mean, who will ever care in the future eternities that I'm late to church every Sunday? Who?

 

Man, I love that nail polish.

Carter's family vacationed in Canada in August 2012 and I joined them for the weekend. After six weeks apart we were more than happy to see each other. They stayed in a house on the inlet of the pacific ocean so Carter suggested we take the rowboat out and attempt to spot some of the sea seals he had been seeing earlier in the week. Carter rowed us around a bit but it ended up being too dark to see anything. I remember wondering why we didn't just row back and try again tomorrow. By the time Carter finally did row us back it was so dark we could only see by the light of the house shining off the shore, but I could see a point of light on the dock. I joked that there seemed to be people on the dock and that we shouldn't go over there or we might ruin their moment. I then joked that they might be robbers/murderers/bad people and that we should just land elsewhere, except I was only half joking and might have even begged Carter to stop until we could figure out what the unidentified object was. In any case, we did land on the dock and it turned out to be a lovely candle-lit dessert table that Carter had prearranged for us. Duh. This is an engagement story.

 I should interject here that I knew this was coming. We had gone ring shopping together the month before so when Carter suggested I come up for the weekend that was my first thought. Not to mention Carter started to breathe really heavily as we approached the dock. As I re-read that, that sounds borderline creepy but in reality it was pretty cute. Like, he was really nervous and unable to control his bodily functions. Cute, right? So it was all very romantic, except for me. I couldn't stop myself from ruining the moment...every moment. It was like an out-of-body experience where I could see from a vantage point that what I was doing was horribly wrong but mind and body weren't making any sort of connection. Carter went to tie up the boat and I kept insisting that I help even though he kept insisting that he only wanted to tie up one end ("Really, I can tie this. But really. I can"). He just dropped our life jackets on the dock and right before he got down on one knee I made us pick the life jackets back up and hang them on our chair. I don't know what can over me. All I can say in my defense is that I am really unromantic. They call me murderer of love.

Carter said some very nice things about me and then he got down on one knee and proposed. I said yes. He tried to put the ring on the wrong finger but we figured it out. It was a beautiful moment. Carter is easily my favorite person in the whole world. It is incredible how well made we are for one another.

In an alternate, yet perhaps more honest, ending to our proposal story, when I realized what was happening I almost asked Carter to stop. I almost made him get up from his knee and I almost asked him to propose on a different day because today, in that moment, I wasn't feeling it. I was scared and unsure because, after all people, this is marriage! MARRIAGE. As in an eternal covenant with God! So for an eternity - or half a second, I honestly wondered if 'yes' or 'no' was going to come out of my mouth. As it turns out, I said yes, because I loved him and I thought it might crush him if I said anything else. In a poetic way, I think that is a more fitting response to a marriage proposal but it wasn't exactly what I was expecting.

Even after I said yes, there were still lots of periods of indecision during our engagement. Lest anyone think I am confessing to marital unhappiness, I am head over heels for Carter and we are happier than we have ever been. Marrying Carter was the easily the best decision I've ever made in the most cliche way. I just wanted to relate a more truthful version of this story with the message that real-life true love is less about romance and more about sacrifice. And it's OK for times to be hard and decisions to be scary. It's life, after all.

Jen and Chris

Last weekend Carter and I got our wedding on and traveled down to see Jennifer and Chris get hitched. And by see, I mean we stood outside the San Diego temple and watched little nieces and nephews play on their iPads. I figure I had better hurry on up and finish my final edits to their engagements (if only for myself) since they're already wed. Whoops. How time flies!

Carter-less

Photo cred to the beautiful and talented Cassie!

Sometimes when Carter isn't around to censor my actions, not good things happen. Not good sometimes meaning I post our fake engagements photos all over the internet...fake engagement photos that are scarily authentic. In my defense, they were taken as a prank on a particularly gullible mutual friend on his mission. Not that you'd have to be all the gullible to believe that invite. Another factoid probably also not appropriate for the internet: I'd do anything for a good prank.

In ONE Year

Inspired by Caitlin's blog, Blah Blah Blah. So much happens in a year, especially in this stage of my life, so why don't we take a looksies into my crystal ball, hmmmmmm?...

in one year I'll be:

outgrown by yet another roommate who is in wedded bliss.

freaking out about graduating.

a "usual" at salsa club.

either extremely happy about getting into medical school on the (pick any one) coast or really excited about serving a mission. All you sister missionary haters can (inject mean things) because all my friends and I will be/are bombing sister missionaries.

dreaming about moving to Portland or Texas or D.C. or San Diego.

a triathlete BABE.

probs single again. AND LOVING IT. Confession: the other day I tallied up all my married/engaged/soon-to-be-one-of-those friends and felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude that I was not among their ranks. Praise Allah!

sooooooo overwhelmingly broke.

again avoiding all those people from freshman year who are now back from their missions. shudder.

a spoken word performer.

one of those rad people who can quote scriptures word for word from off the top of their head. So the thing is I'm soooooo not a memorizer. But I am a believer.

STILL thinking about the Hunger Games. This will never change. ever.

one year ago I was:

thinking I was maybe going to Med school, then it was Occupational Therapy school, then it was Physical Therapy school, and then it was Physician's Assistant school. Now we're back. Life is funny circles like that sometimes.

wishing I knew how to dance.

applying to the Jerusalem Center.

bemoaning my lack of dates but still liking being single. OH HOW THE TIMES HAVE CHANGED.

helping Sandra readjust to dating after her mission. hahaha

freaking out that I had no hobbies other than school. I fixed this. Don't worry.

head over heals for jimmer and justin beiber.

If you had asked me a year ago where I thought I would be now, I could NEVER have guessed all that would happen. Jerusalem, continued blog writing, first biathlon, numerous blind dates, Hunger Games, caregiving, photography, DanceSport, med school prep... I planned some of it. But most of it just happened. Life is better that way, I've realized.

"I'm Too Busy"

So we all say it. We all say it all the time. Not that it isn't true of course...we are all very busy creatures; we all go to school, go to work, need to do this, and need to do that. We're supposed to clock in this much studying, this much scripture reading/prayer, that much exercise, that much dating. And it's IMPOSSIBLE! Have you noticed that? There were several comical days last week where I literally ran everywhere I went because I had no time for even the commute. I LITERALLY ran to my review session and then ran to a Brain Awareness Week meeting after which I ran to my car and madly drove to my MCAT prep course and then ran to the library. This semester is jam-packed and there is no indication that it is going to slow down. Reading this article from this blog, however, has helped me gain a new perspective on my so called 'busy' lifestyle.

I'm actually not a busy as I claim, really not very many people are. I spend at LEAST two hours a day inefficiently. That adds up to a whopping 14 hours a week (or also known as the time I'm supposed to be dedicating to studying for the MCAT). And honestly, most of my 'busy-ness' is self-imposed. I choose to be an officer in the Neuroscience Club, I choose to make all those unnecessary decoration for that Bridal Shower, and I definitely choose to go to that St. Patrick's party at the Covey Mansion. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love efficiency and productivity. I love feeling like my time isn't going to waste. I love always having something to do.

The end of the article hit me the hardest: "Instead of saying "I don't have time" try saying "it's not a priority," and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder. Try it: "I'm not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it's not a priority." "I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority." If these phrases don't sit well, that's the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, we can choose differently."

I'm dedicating myself to changing my language. Not only will it help me better prioritize better, but I believe it will reduce the stress of feeling like there isn't enough time and that it will open me up to opportunities to serve. Am I so busy that I can't serve others? Never.

3. 1415926535897

Happy Pi Day ya'll! I stole these instagrams from Cassie...hope she isn't too mad about it! I just really wanted to share with you all my Pi Day festivities. On Pi day I went to school, did homework, went to MCAT prep, and then at 10:45 I realized we hadn't yet had any pie. So we hijacked Carter and headed over to Sammy's for pie shakes. Raspberry Cheesecake, Peach Cobbler, and Banana Cream! And yes they actually blend a piece of pie into the shake, nom nom nom.

Update

I've been experiencing a lack of blogger material probably due to the fact that anything I post now is infinitely lame when compared to posting about Jerusalem. Confession: I MISS JERUSALEM. I miss Jerusalem friends. I miss having my schedule totally laid out for me. I miss incredible field trips. I miss new experience every day. I miss just wandering around until I found friends (ok so maybe I still do this in the WILK). And most of all I miss not planning my future.

I feel like everyone around me is moving forward with their lives, getting all married or going on missions and I'm...just not. I mean I AM moving forward with my life, with the MCAT and med school apps and other things I want to do but there's this part of me that feels suspended in time and space. And paralyzed with indecision. I never knew I was so indecisive! I guess it's all part of that awful age 20. I am so young. I don't know how I convince people I am qualified enough to be making my own life-decisions. It might be how aptly I put off midterm studying by watching Pretty Little Lairs on Hulu and dining out at Saigon Cafe, or how most of my sophisticated meals consist of granola bars and vending machine goldfish.

It is nice to feel to feel young every once in a while though, especially since the majority of my dates this semester have been with fresh-off-the-mission RMs. Most of these have been first dates only, based solely on their academic statuses as freshman and occasionally sophomores. You may be attractive and spiritual and fun but there is NO WAY I am sticking around in Provo any longer than it takes me to graduate. FYI. Currently I am invested stalking the juniors/seniors I actually want to date. Let me know if you've figured out how to move from stalking to dating. I'm still working on it.

Moabites

Is there really any other way to celebrate President's weekend than to climb all over Arches National Park? Yes. But obviously this was a bajillion times more awesome. Arches/Moab/Southern Utah is gorgeous. When we arrived at our campsite it was already dark out so I had to wait until morning to witness the incredible landscape but when I did my mind was sufficiently blown. New fav place? I think yes.



If these sunny pictures fooled you into thinking it was warm outside, lemme tell you, the only thing keeping me warm was the 7 mile loop we did through the Devil's Garden and warming my socks over the fire. The best part of the weekend, however, were the people. I have such funny, talented, interesting, awesome, entertaining friends. Chris even let me use his machete to chop firewood. If that isn't friendship, I don't know what is.

We thought about setting this up, but had to cut our weekend a little short due to an impending storm. Next time: arching swinging.

All photos are courtesy of Chris Maybe, photographer extraordinaire, blog found here.

Tut Tut, Looks Like Rain

Most days life feels phenomenal, so full of possibility and wonder and extraordinary life opportunities. Today, however, life looks like big black pits of despair and stormy clouds and like anywhere I step is a step toward misery and regret. I'm waiting for someone to appear from behind those bookshelves and tell me what I already know: "You're being dramatic. Say a prayer, take a nap and tomorrow will look a little less black pit-esque. Things are hardly ever as final as they seem." Inevitably there would be tears as I whine to them about my inability to make important life decisions or beg for one of those crystal balls that foretells my inescapable future. Eventually, though, I would probably agree with them, explaining away my tears as post-teen hormones or that time of the month. And then life would go on, as it always does. Life goes on.

PS I gots myself a new layout. It's much fresher and cleaner, no? Just like tomorrow, I hope.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Last night we celebrated the new year of the dragon at FHE with Chinese music videos, firecrackers, and fortune cookies. Fitting, I say. Unfortunately, the fortune cookies this year were a little disappointing. Lemme tell ya, if I made fortune cookies they would have Chinese proverbs like this:

Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

Man with one chopstick go hungry. (true)

And then I would probably throw in a few of my Mom's 'proverbs'.

Never make more money than your husband.

Don't marry a doctor. They can cheat on you.

Close off your heart.

In any case, here are my 2011 Resolutions in review...

1. Write in my (non-existent) journal at least once a week. I probably should call this a failure because this soooo did not happen but I did write in my journal more than once this year (past patterns). SUCCESS. Also, I blog. Le duh.

2. STOP BUYING SHOES. 2010 alone involved 7 new pairs. Yeah.....so this year it was only 3 pairs. Progress is progress.
3. Read scriptures in the morning. Yes, I too am a victim of late-night sleepiness. Not usually a huge problem except when my spiritual cup still needs filling. One of these days I'll wrestle myself out of bed BEFORE class starts. I've decided this doesn't actually matter as much to me as I thought it did. Late-night reading here I come.
4. Read. Not romantic fiction, not science fiction, not any fiction. Since high school I've turned into quite the binge reader. If I do read, it's mounds of crap literature that I can just tell is turning my arteries to lard. In honor of Jerusalem, I am reforming my ways and turning to non-fiction literature on middle eastern culture and conflict. Big fat CHECK.
5. Delete my facebook...eventually. Don't get me wrong, it's been real. I'll never forget vague status updates, countless hours spent stalking, or my fair share of made-possible-by-fb dates. To the best wingman ever: cheers! I'll miss ya! Also checked...then I realized I have no way to stalk people. Obvious problem.

...and my new 2012 Chinese New Years Resolutions:

1. Sprint triathlon this summer. Here I come baby.
2. No buying things outside of the need category. Ambitious, I know. So I might have failed miserably at no shoes in 2011, but what else can you do when faced with failure except make loftier goals? The trick to lofty goal achieving is making exceptions. That way you can still fail but also win. And, as it were, nail polish is always my exception.
3. Learn a new skill (I'm still working out the details on this one).

Awkward is the New Cool

My semester is fantastic. I'm totally on top of (almost) every class, my living situation is fabulous (hello, two minutes from campus), I see at least three Jerusalem friends everyday, my outside-of-Jerusalem social life is picking up, I got through the Provo temple in a record-breaking hour this week, scripture study and prayer have been really satisfying lately, and my arms are sore from swimming. Life is soooooo good and that is an understatement. Really people, I am convinced if everyone lived the quality of life I do Israel would tear down the separation wall, Iran would dismantle their nuclear program, and we would all ride unicorns under rainbows sucking on lollipops. My Miss America crown should be arriving in the mail any day now. I know you watched that pageant so don't you dare tell me I wouldn't win with that platform. Like, please. If Miss Wisconsin can win on a platform based off of her father's incarceration then I can definitely win off a platform based on unicorns.

I don't know that I have anything in particular to say, other than male infertility is a huge problem in Mali. But you already knew that. I could offer an entertaining story? Cassie and I were lovingly picking out eggs for the week in the grocery store as three boys from our new ward passed us. And naturally I was friendly, "Oh hey guys! Fun times grocery shopping? Awesome." which was met with blank faces and mumbling. Being the oblivious person I am, I totally did not realize they had no clue who we were and they definitely thought strangers were hitting on them in the grocery store. Cassie tried to save the day by yelling out, "We're from your ward!" a tad too late though one of the boys apparently heard. Imma interject here with some outrage. I KNOW one of those boys helped us move in and we met the other two at our ward party. So who do they think they are, going about and not remembering us?? We're memorable people, alright? Later one of the boys tried to ameliorate the situation by confirming our new-ness in the ward and then conversing with us. Of course I then made the situation worse by interjecting awkward one liners in inappropriate places of the conversation, " Jerusalem reunions are so great, we just like to touch each other." Don't worry, my social standing in that ward isn't totally shot...yet. I've heard that awkward is the new cool. Oh you've heard that too? Cool - I mean awkward.

I Love to Love!

I think I have an incredible ability to love. Like the love I have for my beautiful new Country Dance TA? Incredible. This, however, gets to be a significant problem especially when faced with life decisions. Exhibit A: a list of BYU majors I wish I had.

Acting

Arabic Language

Bioinformatics

Economics

English

Exercise Science

Food Science

Geography

Graphic Design

Industrial Design

International Relations

Korean

Landscape Management

Mathematics

Media Art Studies

Microbiology

Middle East Studies

Music Dance Theatre

Nursing

Nutritional Science

Photography

Special Education

Theatre Arts Studies

...these can all be hobbies, right???

Mitt is So Mormon...

I've found a new favorite kind of joke and it's of the Mitt Romney flavor. Probably, you'all have heard of these but I find them delicious. From Religious Dispatches:

Earlier this week, Florida evangelical Christian leader John Stemberger endorsed Rick Perry’s campaign for GOP presidential nominee. According to Stemberger, Perry was more “trustworthy” on social conservation issues like abortion rights. On Romney, Stemberger said: “The issue not that he is a Mormon. The issue is that he wasn’t Mormon enough.”

Apparently Stemberger's comment begun a string of 'Mitt is so Mormon' jokes on twitter @askmormongirl that I find hilarious. My favs?

Mitt is so Mormon he’s related to the other Mormon presidential candidate and half of his own campaign volunteers as well.

Mitt is so Mormon that his campaign “oppo” team has done all the other candidates’ genealogy.

Mitt is so Mormon he’s organizing his precinct walkers in pairs to knock doors with a very special message.

Mitt Romney is so Mormon that he’s afraid to join the Tea Party because of Doctrine & Covenants 89.

Mitt is so Mormon he’d ask the Elders Quorum to move him into the White House.

Mitt is so Mormon, he has four cats named 1 Nephi, 2 Nephi, 3 Nephi and 4 Nephi. (4 Nephi is the small one.)

So in case you didn't catch that: Mitt is sooooo Mormon.