So I read this article on LDS Living and I'm wondering: Is a no-sleepover policy a crazy mom or a informed parent rule?
In the article, Wendy Green argues that sleepovers allow a slew of problems including:
limited parental supervision
differing standard between households (access to guns, use of porn, R and X rated movies, video games)
sexual abuse including from peers acting out victimization
increased peer pressure (you can be registered as a sex offender if caught skinny-dipping or streaking)
drug and alcohol experimentation
One family I knew told a story about a well-respected lawyer who was accused by his daughter's friend of sexual abuse and although she later confessed to have accused him over some rift between the friends, his practice was shot.
While I can sing to her melody, aren't all of these problems present during "late-nights" or even regular hangouts? Isn't this a more of a problem with prolonged time away from home?
What do you all think? Have your sleepover experiences been problem-free or somewhat troublesome? I've never had a problem at one, though there have been some odder experiences (mother making me take a bath with their daughter. I mean, I was eight, but still).
I'm torn about this too. Seth's parents didn't allow sleepovers, but I probably slept at a friend's house every other weekend from 14-18. Most were innocent girls nights, but I remember several times when the boys would plan their sleepovers for the same night, and we'd chat on msn all night or end up sneaking out at 2 am to meet up (and do nothing - but still, I probably wouldn't want my kids in that situation). And even though there might be some families I'm comfortable with my children staying with, there might be other friends whose house I wouldn't want my child to stay at. So I think it'd be easiest just to avoid it altogether instead of picking and choosing who to allow sleepovers with. I think the riskiest sleepovers I went to were all ones that were "sleepover parties" - planned parties with lots of attendees.
ReplyDeleteI think we are going to be a no sleepover family! My family was a no sleepover family, and I definitely do not think it made my childhood worse (although I was convinced that it would when I was younger. But that is beside the point!). I think that it is a dangerous thing, especially in today's world!
ReplyDeleteThe only wild things I have ever done have been at sleepovers. Skinny dipping, streaking, the one time I was offered alcohol. One time I had a sleepover at my house and all my friends snuck out and TP'd a boys house. I didn't sneak out because I didn't want to get in trouble (?!) but I did anyway because there were leaves all over my basement from the re-entry through the window and I put the curtains on backward when I replaced them. ALSO myspace, AIM, etc until the wee hours of the morning. It was all pretty harmless but I think I am going to have a rule that my kids can have people sleepover at my house but they can't sleep over at other homes. (CJ doesn't really agree with me though so we'll see...ha!) Depends on the friend I guess or if it's a cousin or something but either way I am super paranoid, especially when it comes to sexual abuse.
ReplyDeleteI'm so paranoid about that too! Carter thinks it's borderline obsessive but I've seen almost every episode of Law and Order SVU(!!!!!)...so he's probably right.
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