Landon Family 2014

We're united again after 18 months but mostly it just feels like nothing has changed! They will be changing very, very soon though. Primarily, in the form of a melon-sized fetus. We are all weirded out by the size of my belly and excited for this baby's arrival. I'm feeling increasingly anxious about caring for a baby. Everything is perfect right now; am I ready to let a baby alter everything? I don't know but I also don't know that there is anything I can do at this point. He's coming whether I'm ready or not!

New York! New York!

The best part about living in New York is having so many strangers tell me congratulations and offering up their subway seats to me! There's no better way to make this pregnant lady happy. The housekeepers in my building are especially hilarious. They always call me mama in their heavy Mexican accents, "Rest, mama, it's too hot" or "Mama, take it easy." It quickly became obvious that they don't speak very much English.

"Where you from?"
"My mom is from Korea."
"Where you having the baby?"
"I'm going back to Utah."
"Oh, not going back to Korea? You have the baby in New York,  it will be a citizen."
"Well, I'm having the baby in Utah so he will be a citizen...and I'm a citizen."
"Have baby in New York. It will be citizen."
"...Ok."

That conversation is, in a lot of ways, representative of life in NY, in that the range in the human experience is overwhelming.  I'm here relaxing in New York for the summer while these ladies work menial jobs, only wishing for their children to be citizens. And don't even get me started on homelessness.

Despite my earlier reluctance to move here, I love New York, too. Did you know 1 in 50 people in the U.S. live in New York City? Apparently, it can't be helped! It's a disease and I've caught the bug. We live in the Upper West Side right next to Central Park. It's practically a dream come true! I'm talking, long strolls in the park at firefly dusk and mid-morning breakfast picnics. Soooo dreamy.

So in short, Carter and I would be happy to come back to New York for a couple of years but we have other considerations that might get in the way of that. Ultimately, our future family and Carter's career are our priorities. We're not sure right now what that means for our next couple years but we've called upon the oracle of Delphi and we are waiting for the response. I guess, let you know when we get it?

p.s. Those pictures were actually taken a month ago. Right now I'm at 30 weeks!

Mormon Questions: Polygamy

A pregnant lady and her boo hitting up the sites in Washington D.C!

All the time when I tell people that I'm married and Mormon they follow up by asking - very politely - how many wives my husband has. LOL. I get it, it's a unique cultural heritage and Big Love is a popular television show. I explain that I am and will continue to be Carter's ONLY wife.

Polygamy was practiced by my church over a hundred years ago. In the late 1800s polygamy was outlawed in the United States and, in accordance with the new laws, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stop practicing polygamy as well in 1890. There are still polygamous groups of people in Southern Utah and Nevada who may call themselves 'fundamentalist mormons' but these groups are not affiliated with my church. In fact, any person currently practicing polygamy cannot become or remain a member of our church. So in short, no polygamists here.

So - as I imagine some people might want to ask - how can I belong to and believe in a church that used to practice polygamy, even if it was a long time ago? It's a valid question and one I've even wondered myself. After some thought, the answer comes down to the fact that I faith that God commanded it and it was necessary and important at the time. Having faith doesn't mean having all the answers, it just means that I choose to believe despite questions that I can't answer.

Both the Bible and the Book of Mormon teach that marriage of one man to one woman is God's standard, except when God has commanded otherwise, as in the case of Abraham, Jacob, and some of the early Mormons. Somewhere between 25 and 50 percent of the Mormon population (including children) lived in polygamous households. All polygamous relationships had to be approved by church authorities. Women and men were free to choose whether to enter polygamous or monogamous relationships, or none at all. Those who practiced polygamy did so because they believed that they were following a commandment from God and obedience to His commandments would bring blessings. I don't know the particular reasons God asked His people to practice polygamy but the Book of Mormon identifies at least one explanation in Jacob 2:30, "to raise up seed unto [the Lord]" or to increase the number of children born into the gospel. Today, we honor the sacrifices made by these early saints but do not practice polygamy ourselves. If you are further interested in this topic I would recommend this in-depth article written by my church.

In a last interesting note, I am descended from polygamists on my dad's side. One of my ancestors, Edwin Rushton, had three wives married in 1842, 1857, and 1862. He had children with each of his wives for a total of 21 children, though many of them never survived past childhood. I am descended from the third wife. In 1887 he was prosecuted by the United States Government for polygamy and elected to serve a four month prison term rather than renounce his wives and children.

Some Thoughts

On hair...

I'm the type of person who is very emotionally attached to their hair. I usually follow trims up with a cry, but last week I cut off more than eight inches and I loved it! No regret at all.

On driving in Utah...

I never really thought about road rage until I moved to and started driving around Utah. I used to think it was just a stereotype that Utah drivers are crazy but as it turns out,  it is 100% true. At any given intersection you can be sure that at least two cars will run the red light. It's also the only state where I can reliably drive 5 mph over the speed limit and still be the slowest one on the road. And signaling? People only signal in Utah after they are already entering your lane, like it or not. I eventually realized that people in Utah are just used to driving like this. They don't realize they are being unsafe or rude. If I got upset over everything I thought other drivers were doing wrong, I would develop full blown road rage. In fact, I'm certain I was developing road rage because suddenly I felt like cutting rude drivers off and driving slow when someone rode my bumper. I'm learning to let go and move on.

On diets and fad foods...

I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead on Netflix and while I was enthused and amazed and inspired, as a true believer in science, I'd like to tell everyone that a juice-only diet or 'juice-detox' is not necessarily healthy. Sure vegetable juice is healthier that a Mickey D's but fat and fiber are an essential part of diet, none of which you can get from juice. In fact, omitting fat and fiber causes the sugar in your juice to be absorbed into the blood stream too quickly, spiking blood sugar and thereby increasing your rick of diabetes.

On living in New York...

I'm slowly feeling more and more like I'll love living in Manhattan, partially because of my Aunt's New York tour book and partially because of prayer. I guess that's the beauty of putting things in God's hands. You end up loving things you never thought you would love and doing things you never thought you would do.

On Blackfish...

I watched the documentary and was horrified. Whether or not anyone values animal life, everyone should be repulsed by how obviously little Seaworld values human life. I could not believe the cover-ups highlighted in Blackfish. Instead of being candid with the trainers about the danger they were in and developing effective emergency protocols, they refused to acknowledge the orca were responsible at all! Totally sickening.

On doctors and dentist...

I'm dying young and letting my teeth fall out. On the whole, going to doctors and dentist has been throughly not worth the medical bills. Sorry Carter.

On pregnancy...

I'm almost 20 weeks and will very soon find out the gender of this child. Carter and I already love this baby more that we ever knew would could love a fetus. Little fetus, I'm going to the gym and eating vegetables for breakfast just for you!

Body Image

a Las Vegas vacation

It's true that Carter always tells me I am the perfect size. I don't believe him. He tells me I don't need to lose any weight and I still don't believe him. At first, I thought he was lying to keep me happy. When he convinced me that, in fact, he really believes it, I thought, "How can he not see what I see?" Cognitively, I know overall health should be the goal rather than losing weight; I even strive for it by exercising and eating moderately. And yet, I don't really believe it.

I never thought I had body image issues until I married Carter. I thought I was normal. I mean, I wasn't extreme dieting or throwing up in bathroom. Ultimately, the problem is that I am normal. When I think about where this 'normal' mode of thinking came from, I think about the girl in high school who only drank water at lunch to lose a few pounds, the middle school acquaintance mentioning that she liked lying on her back because it flattens her stomach, or the college neighbor who said all her problems would go away if she were skinny. Of course none of those girls were overweight, in fact they all looked just like me. Cue internalization.

People like to blame body image issues on Photoshop and Barbie but I played with and stopped playing with Barbie long before I thought about what I looked like. For all I knew she looked just like me. I didn't even realize people could visually tell I was a different race until middle school. And I started feeling fat long before Photoshop and the Internet were a thing. I think the fact I have several explicit memories of girls I knew talking about their body speaks volumes as to how society really perpetuates body image issues. Reading this letter to a mother about body image helped me understand it even more.

And so I guess this is a call to all girls to change, if not the way we think about our bodies, then the way we talk about our bodies. If all mothers and sisters and friends talked about the things they liked about their bodies instead of the things they didn't like, we could change an entire generation. Of all the things I want to give my baby, a healthy body image is a definite priority.

poolside, Las Vegas

Life Update

We're pregnant! And by we, I mean me, although we've never really tried to get Carter pregnant. But that's another story for another day on Medical Mysteries. If truth be told, we weren't even trying in particular to get me pregnant but we are still so very happy about it! I'm even a little relieved. It's about time someone (God, the Fates, Karma, Carter's sperm, ect.) made some life-altering choices for me.

We'll be full-fledged parents around October 18th. I'm thirteen weeks along yesterday though I've only been growing this little human for about 11 or so weeks. Who knew that they date your baby from your last period? I guess that's when the follicle started maturing? #biologymajorproblems

In other news Carter is a smarty pants and scored an internship with the New York Federal Reserve this summer. So we'll be packing up and shipping out in June. I'm going to call it my doing-nothing-in-NYC vacation. I look forward to it as the last vacation where all I worry about is me. In the fall we'll return to Provo so I can push a baby out of my uterus and Carter can finish his last year at BYU. After that Carter has the option of returning to Manhattan to work for the New York Federal Reserve for two years or going to a graduate school.

Is it extremely lame of me that I don't want to live in New York, NY? I guess it all comes down to priorities and right now my priorities revolve around Caribbean vacations and home-ownership and backyards, all of which are not helped by living in New York on a pittance government salary. And if Carter takes the job and then goes to grad school we'll have an EIGHT-year-old by the time he actually graduates!

But if Carter goes straight to grad school in an affordable location, we might be able to buy a house/condo right now. And raise all our children in nice neighborhoods where they can walk themselves to school and play in playgrounds without rat infestations and enjoy water blobs in their own backyard. I mean. NYC is not the most kid-friendly.

The main argument for the NYC job is that Carter will have a regular 9-5 job and will be able to spend copious amount of time with our baby. So that's a plus.

So what would you do? Do you love NYC and think it's a great place for kids?

Mormon Questions: Joseph Smith

Almost all anti-mormon literature revolves around Joseph Smith. Some of it true and some of it not. So when people hear 'mormon,' Joseph Smith is often the first person to come to mind.

Hence this question: "Do you really believe Joseph Smith was a prophet?"

The answer is yes, I absolutely do!

In case you aren't sure who Joseph Smith is, I'll tell you! Joseph Smith was a 14 year old boy growing up New York in the early 1800s. He prayed in the woods to know which church to join and in turn learned more than he ever expected to know, I'm sure. God and Jesus Christ appeared to him then and told him that he should join no church because the gospel and the priesthood had been taken from the earth when the original apostles died. Joseph later received priesthood power, the Book of Mormon, and instructions from angels. He became the first prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I believe all that and more. I believe that Joseph was sincerely trying to follow God's directive. But I don't believe Joseph Smith was perfect and I don't believe he was more than a man (as in we don't worship Joseph Smith). Only Jesus was perfect and even then most people didn't believe He was the Son of God! They still criticized Him and pointed out perceived flaws.

Carter teaches Elder's Quorum (sunday school for men) and in his class someone brought up the good point that if all prophets were as well documented as Joseph was, they would likely all be controversial figures. Take Moses, for example. He intentionally killed a man! Or Jonas, who planned on forgetting the whole prophet business and moving far away where no one would know him.

The beautiful thing about Joseph Smith's story is how it all relates to our own. God uses imperfect people to do His work on this earth! Though we all are lacking (and He knows perfectly what we lack) we can all serve God in meaningful ways.

If you would like to know more about Joseph Smith and what we believe about him you can look at this website created by our church.

Awkward and Awesome

small forehead, llamas, and too many miles of hair for one selfie

Awkward

Our toilet occasionally makes the loudest sound when we flush it. It's a mixture between the sound of a whale and an angry ogre, kinda like this. AND our neighbors just told us that they can hear it two apartments away. 

How looooong my hair is. It's the type of long that gets caught in other people's armpits, chokes me during swim workouts and is too heavy to hold any hairstyle. I think big changes are coming... 

Yoga with sexual offenders. I failed to realize this but apparently lots of yoga poses look like sex poses. #awk

I asked for bangs and my hairdresser refused on the grounds that my forehead is too short. SINCE WHEN IS MY FOREHEAD TOO SHORT/WHY HAS NO ONE EVER TOLD ME THIS BEFORE?? I can now totally relate to women's forehead fashion during Marie Antoinette's era. 

A while ago Carter randomly started bleeding out of his arm and it wouldn't stop bleeding for 40 minutes. We had no idea what it was but we got desperate and ended up super-gluing the hole in his arm shut, leaving a massive, bloody pile of superglue on his arm. The superglue held everything in but two months later his arm was still bleeding out of that hole every time Carter tried to remove the superglue. Finally, we got smart and asked Carter’s doctor dad what to do. He said that it was probably a arteriole (small artery) that was too close to the surface of the skin. Apparently, sometimes they just break open and  don’t ever clot over by themselves because there is too much blood pressure. So he cauterized the wound and now there is a crater in Carter’s arm. Carter thought it was so cool but I was pretty grossed out. 

Awesome

FINALLY finished my pomegranate print pillows, complete with black trim! I'm learning to sew and moving on up in life.

Carter told me he "had an awakening" and now is applying to an internship with the Federal Reserve in NYC this summer. There's a good chance we'll go because his professor has connectionz and said he would hook Carter up. #seeyathere @cmacmitch

I'm a notorious plant killer but in order to justify having children, I've been working on changing my ways. So far my beautiful pink plant has survived a whooping 5 months in my care! Never mind that three died before this one and the two background plants are already as good as dead! We can have kids!

I had my wedding dress recently cleaned (10 months later) and I just can't put it away yet. Something about having that sliver of beading peeking out is so dreamy and nostalgic.

I'm a primary teacher and this calling could not be more perfect for where I am in life right now. I LOVE going to primary and singing songs all the days. One 9-year-old boy in particular reminds me of so much Carter. During a primary lesson about the second coming he asked, "What if I'm 112 and dead? Will I still see Him?" To which the primary president answered that he would because everyone will come forth out of their graves. And then totally serious he protest, "But then I'll be a zombie." LOLZ. Not even a hint of sarcasm, just innocent hilarious questions.

a beautiful wedding dress, an un-killable plant, and some rad pillows